Life's Like That

Friday, November 11, 2011

Dear Neighbour

Your baby is very cute. Thank you for saying mine is very cute too. I’m sorry I could not tell you her exact weight as of right now. I don’t keep weighing her you see, so the best I can do is tell you what she weighed at her last doctor check up, which might even have been last month. You and I evidently have very different parenting styles and I would not have given yours a second thought but for the fact that over the last month, every time we meet and discuss the kids, (seems to me that that is all you can talk about) you seem to be judging me and everything I say and do. It was kind of funny at first but it’s getting real annoying now.

Yes I have help for the baby. No I don’t go to work. I do take up freelance work, but you know what, even if I didn’t, I would have still had a maid. It does not mean that I love my daughter any less; it does not mean that I don’t look after her, it does not imply that I’m a rich bitch who will go to kiddie birthday parties with maid in tow. I love my baby to bits, but I need the occasional break from her to do other things…surf the net, go to the parlor, read, nap, even take a decent shower. No we are not, as you (rather rudely) put it, “rolling in money”..we are making other sacrifices and compromises to enable this and yes my husband is totally on board with it. You want to be Mother India and do everything for your son yourself? Good for you *clap clap*. But then, why does every conversation with you begin and end with you moaning about being tired or not getting any sleep or not even being able to go to the loo or comb your hair in peace?

Why are you constantly asking me about how much we spend on stuff and then judging me? Yeah Aahana was born at a speciality maternity hospital that’s quite a distance from home and comparatively expensive. We felt it was worth every penny and every long drive because the doctor and the hospital were both superb. I don’t see why you need to ask how much we paid for the delivery and then look shocked and inform me that you paid only 20k at this good hospital nearby. Again, good for you, but not for me thanks. Yeah we are still going to the same hospital to consult this paediatrician who has been seeing Aahana from the day she was born. True it’s kind of far, but again we love this doctor and the hospital which is so incredibly well organized that it makes the drive worthwhile. Don’t you think its rather rude of you to ask how much we pay for each visit and then comment about the price of fuel these days? My baby, my car, my money, my time, how the eff does it matter to you!?

I don’t give a rats ass how much you paid for your son’s pram or his high chair. The high chair we use was a hand me down from a friend (bless her) and the pram was a reasonably priced decent durable one. We did not really think about brands when buying it. Congratulations on spending 15k on a Gracco or Chicco whatever the hell it was pram and another 15k on some big brand high chair. I don’t care and I don’t understand why my choices should cause you so much concern! I am more intrigued by this contradiction in your character, cautious with money when it comes to doctors etc and yet so openhanded with it when it comes to branded kiddie stuff. Do you buy Baby Gap for your son, I really want to know, but unlike you cant bring myself to ask.

Get a life lady. Get out of the house a bit more. Take some time off from your maternal duties. I don’t know if you realize it but all you talk about is your son and your parenting experiences. And the price of things! Your earnestness is kind of tiring really. I suppose its not possible to suddenly develop a sense of humor, so I will forgive you for looking blank when I try to joke, but at least try and talk about something other than the kids and money once in a while. You will feel better trust me.

Yours sincerely

Increasingly Irritated Neighbour


  • i like the sound of your hospital and paediatrician.

    hmmm mebbe i should have my third one in your city...

    you can tell your neighbour to put that in her pipe and smoke it.

    By Anonymous mim, at 1:56 AM  

  • Oh, man, you seem to have nabbed an exceptionally bad neighbour! Luckily I haven’t met anyone who talked like this, but I did have a colleague earlier who used to hound me similarly because I had a driver for the car, so I can sympathise.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:27 PM  

  • aaargh! my sympathies!

    By Blogger LAK, at 8:45 AM  

  • Happy New Year! You've been tagged!

    By Blogger LAK, at 9:12 AM  

  • Oh god...the neighbour sounds horrible. I hate when people ask me about price of something. It's ok with me if they are asking about the monetary information as long as they are trying to plan on things. It gets really annoying when they ask about it simple to comment on it. My sympathies, Ron!

    Nice post!


    By Blogger Pramodini, at 10:02 AM  

  • Loved this piece, just happ to find this coz of similar words search...happy to have read it! I can totally understand....I have a cousin's wife who your neighbour reminded me of instantly! Tell her least you can she's just a neighbour!!

    By Blogger ans, at 10:25 PM  

  • Just as the gods used WWII to justify an influx of new technologies so will they use the impending pestilence which kills over half the world's population to justify historical medical advances, including the "cure of aging", initiating the "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
    We've seen this tactic used recently with AIDS, targetted at homosexuals and blacks in Africa.
    Then, as promised, The End will come with fire::::Global tectonic subduction.

    Don't forget the lessons the 'ole white preacher taught:::Dancing is a sin, spare the rod spoil the child.
    The gods used the liberal tool to ridicule away so many taboos, paving the way for the decay of society and ultimately the End Times::::::
    Black behavior was controlled by the KKK. Men's behavior was controlled by marriage for thousands of years.
    When married by 15 men never gained the taste of promiscuity. Once the gods used the budding liberalism tool the men set the tone for the deteriorating enviornment centered around their gross disfavor.
    Women's relinquishing control of pre-arranged marriage will be what costs mankind everything in The End. It's all their fault. Men are pigs, essentially just primally responsive disfavored beings who if given the freedom will abuse based on the impulses the god's push them into. Whereas under pre-arranged marriage this behavior was contained now the promiscuous fraternity house epitomizes the pinnicle of what a "real man" should be like. And sadly the women fall into line.

    We all need to stop believing the lie. Contrary to belief participating won't buy us anything.
    The voices in ALL our heads IS god, the technology they invented and use to control the universe and everyone in it.
    Until we stop participating in the lie they will have control over us. The truth is only children go to heaven. It is very noticable; You will know your child is on a spiritual journey. And when people fail we all have to die and be reincarnated::::We're all coming back.

    Compelling people to believe "the lie" allows the gods to get away with behavior like the Conneticut shool shooting with no reprocussions. So many people with gross disfavor, like men, believe "the lie" is evil, and by being evil in their lives they are "earning" their way into heaven.
    Understanding the rejecting "the lie" would result in vulnerability and fear, thinking the right way important for a legitimate chance to ascend in a future life.
    Note the gods created elements which progressively tried to defeat this fear:::Xtian god, USA, democracy, union membership, affluence, stability.
    I shared the importance of thinking the right way. Understanding the gods did this can assist in this capacity.

    Clearly those who buy "the lie" would be men, most of whom are preditors who believe they are "earning", and masculinized women.
    I don't want to judge but these teachers appeared effeminate, a clue "god is evil" and "evil earns for you" hasn't yet been employed due to their favor.
    Very similarly, hurting the disfavored to motivate to pray isn't the only tactic the gods use. Many morbidly disfavored regions like the Meditereanean never experienced enlightenment but truely there are regions which enjoy this path and subsequent impressive numbers, far more than even those Jews in Egypt slavery "enjoyed".
    Realize as time progresses and the enviornment becomes more disfavored fewer people enjoy the positive path and fewer even female charecteristics. 20th century developments like equal rights (workplace) for women made great advances towards the masculinization of women, yet another example of how the gods used liberalism to promote social decay.

    Fuck the god's irresponsible use of their power - Sandy Hook.
    Sick monsters.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:31 PM  

  • I don't have a baby, but I do have that neighbor and there hasn't been a single day where I didn't wanna chop her head off. Both me and hubby work night shifts and I overheard this ***** telling people that we sleep all the time and no one knows if we're even home. Along with other load of non-sense.
    Keep calm and get a punching bag.

    By Blogger Random Blogger, at 2:51 AM  

  • Jumped here from your comment long ago and nice to see a relatively active blog. Character changes due to stress and some take it better than others...with our short lifespan, finding some common topic to bash like our cricket team or IPL may be a good idea :)

    By Blogger Hopeful Indian, at 11:07 AM  

  • Great and useful article. Creating content regularly is very tough. Your points are motivated me to move on.

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    By Blogger Suseela, at 3:49 AM  

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