Life's Like That

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Conversations from a few years ago...

The scene: A coracle boat in the middle of the Kaveri river in Coorg

The charecters: Rahul, Ron, Ron's aunt, cousin, wildlife enthusiast mother and slightly psycho looking coracle man. All inside one small coracle boat. In the middle of the river.

Aunt *nervously*: Iss nodi main kumir...maane ki bole... crocodile hai?

Psycho coracleman *smiling happily*: haan haan bahut hai.

Aunt: Aen!!! Ki shanghatik!! Kumir aachey bolche je. (what!! OMG!! He is saying there are crocodiles)

Me: Ta ei jinishtaye othar aagey jigesh kora uchit chilo. Ekhon thaklei ba ki na thaklei ba ki. (we should have asked before we got into this contraption, now whats the point?)

Rahul *vaguely*: Kahan hai crocodile?

Ron and Aunt glare at Rahul...neither wants to see crocodile speeding towards them.

Psycho coracle man: hai hai idhar udhar hai. Subah aata hai.

Aunt: Obaba subah bolche!! Ki shanghatik. Aamra ebaar neme jai? ( Oh god, he is saying morning..shall we get off now?)

Psycho coracle man: nahin nahin madam darne ka nahi. Yeh sab friendly crocodile hai. *grins broadly*

Rahul *continued vagueness*: Haan see friendly crocodiles. Can any of you swim?

Aunt *most indignant and annoyed* Friendly crocodile aabar kya jinish hai? Jottoshob. Jano crocodile eshe joler niche Coffee Day te boshe coffee khawate niye jaabe. And no none of us can swim. (What rubbish as if friendly crocodile will take us for coffee underwater!)

Rahul: Heheh, I can swim.

Ron and Aunt glare again at Rahul.

Ron's mother *so far enjoying the coracle ride and keeping an eye out for sundry wildlife* : Ha ha friendly crocodile. Kintu ektao toh dekhte paarchi na *regretful tones* ( cant see even one)

Aunt *horrified* : Na dekhai toh bhalo. Dekhte pele toh heart fail korbe (its better we dont see them na, we might have heart attacks if we do)

Mom *in peaceful reassuring tones* : Na na chinta korish na, crocodile ki aar puro manush ke kheye felte parbe? Oi hath pa chnire nebe at most. Ekhon dupur belaye nishchoi pet bhora thakbe. Bhoye paash na. (no no dont worry, I dont think crocodile will eat any of us whole. Maximum it will bite off our arms and legs. Its afternoon na, must be well fed now)

Aunt and Ron speechless. horrified.

Mom *smiles beatifically* : Ei toh bhari handbag aachey, nehaat haan kore dheye aashle bag diye maarbo. Taatei paaliye jaabe. Mone nei Nandi Hills e dupatta diye bnador tariye chilam ( I have a heavy handbag, Ill hit the crocodile with it and it will run away. Dont you remember how I chased monkeys away on Nandi Hills with just a dupatta)

Cousin *very decisively* I have had enough. Ho gaya bhaiyya, abhi hum log ghar jayega. Where there are no crocodiles. Or monkeys. And somewhat saner people. Boat thamao.

Aunt * sadly* : Tor ma r mathaye cheet aachey. Din din barche bujhli.

Ron siiighs deeply in aknowledgement.

Thus ended yet another mildly insane outing with the menagerie I call family. We didnt see a single crocodile, friendly or otherwise during our visit, but my Aunt did get stung by some strange insect and bled from the sting for 24 hours. My mother peacefully reassured her that if she survived she would immune to all insect bites, if not, well too bad, she should'nt have gone for a walk at sunset. I dont think my Aunt likes my mother much after this trip. She definitely avoids planning any other vacations with her :)

9 Comments:

  • Hahha, the story would have been even more interesting if you had actually seen a crocodile!!!

    Gowri

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:16 AM  

  • Hahahahaa.. As always, you got me at ki Sanghatik itself... how cute was tat..

    By Blogger Divya, at 2:56 AM  

  • Oh God! You had me teary-eyed with laughter at this one! Madly funny!

    By OpenID gargimehra, at 4:30 AM  

  • Hilarious. You should try your hand at short stories.
    :)

    By Blogger Dreamcatcher, at 9:09 AM  

  • Very funny post. Enjoyed it much.
    -Pramodini

    By Blogger Pramodini, at 1:06 PM  

  • hello!
    first time here...was googling random words and came across this blog.
    prothom post ta, start to finish, continuously haanschhilam...ebar ma ke phone kore puro transcript ta shonabo :D :D
    and oh, co-bangalorean here :)

    By Blogger pseudo intellectual, at 3:14 AM  

  • Ha ha ronnnyyy ki arr bolbo .... tumi durdanto ;) Bidzy

    By Blogger Bidisha, at 6:05 AM  

  • More, more!

    By Blogger LAK, at 8:45 AM  

  • Very Roal Dahlesque :)
    PS: Your aunt was bitten by a leech.

    By Blogger Bikerdude, at 3:45 AM  

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