Between January 20th and February 14th I have travelled from
1) Bangalore to Kolkata
2) Kolkata to Chennai
3) Chennai to Delhi( meeting his relatives)
4) Delhi to Chandigarh( ditto)
4) Chandigarh to Manali
5) Manali to Chandigarh
6) Chandigarh to Delhi(relatives again)
7) Delhi to Chennai
8) Chennai to Bangalore.
And tomorrow I am off to Goa. For a office offsite. So if you look at it, come Monday I can proudly proclaim to have travelled to the 4 corners of India in the span of little more than a month. I am tired. Of planes, trains, buses, cars....probably the only thing I am not tired of right now is any form of waterborne transportation, but Im sure after this weekend Ill be tired of that as well.
The week afterI got back to Bangalore before I got back to work, I spent all my waking hours with Rahul's mom (she was here for knee treatment). Then I joined work and worked right through the weekend (yes Sunday included), let me not even get started on the weekdays. In between all of this, I have managed to go and buy some furniture for the house, had my father, Rahuls mom, brother and sister in law over for dinner. And followed it up by inviting both Rahuls parents, brother, and sister in law over for dinner last weekend.
I have forgotten what its like to be alone. I have not spent time with myself, for myself in so long, that now Im scared Ive forgotten how. And GOD!! I am SO tired. All I want to do is sleep. Truth be told I dont want to go to Goa. But for various reasons I cant back out now.
I love being married. There is no ambiguity on that. I want to spend as much time as I can with Rahul. We are used to each other by now. Used to the need for space, need for spacing out. I am just so tired of all the other people right now. I love them all dearly, I really do. But right now I want them all a little further away. I want to wake up late, stay in bed, read the 6 odd books that have been lying around unopened for I dont know how long, sleep some more and talk with Rahul. Not about furniture or budgets, or when we have to go to Chennai, or Mom's knee problems. Talk about nothing in particular. Without social obligations, without lists of things to do hanging in the balance, without places to visit, without cell phones ringing.
Sigh. Have to go home now. And pack for Goa. I'll be back. Sometime.