We were discussing first crushes and the like at work the other day...no we don't work too hard in this office...and it occured to me that I have incredibly bad taste in men. Oh, and the most appalling men seem to have crushes on me. Really!! What was I thinking.
The first boy who had a crush on me was, I think, about 22/23 years old. I was 14. He lived in Purulia. Now, I love Purulia, and everybody there, but most of the young men belonging to that town were rather....umm...I dont know...idiotic. I could be friends with them, but could not begin to imagine anything else (This one parar dada wore this belt that had twinkling lights on it...he would walk down the dark lanes of Purulia wearing black shirt and black trousers and this belt, and from afar all you could see was a line of twinkling lights suspended in mid air walking towards you. Very scary).
Anyways, so this boy knew this little boy I used to play with. This Little Boy would come in the afternoon and stand in the garden while I stood regally on my balcony and we would talk about life in general. And this Boy-Who-Had-Crush On-Me would cycle past looking at the balcony. He would keep cycling past my house all evening...which was when I would descend to the garden to play with the Little Boy and other children. Little Boy was most paaka and would drop hints left right and centre, which I chose to ignore naturally. Because the Boy-who-had-crush-on-me was really quite atrocious. Wore hawai chappals and odd looking shirts and had khoncha khoncha daari (dirty unshaven stubble)..much like an escaped convict. Oh but I did enjoy all the attention, and would diligently stand on the balcony all afternoon in the searing heat. Like I said, bad taste and no discretion whatsoever.
My first crush was our tenants son. By our I mean my grandparents. And yes, the location was again, Purulia. We were both around 15 I think. Although he didnt live there, he studied in the Norendropur Ram Krishna Mission and stayed in the hostel and was well read and serious and intellectual. And very high principled. Apparantly their hostel did not have fans, because fans were an unnecessary luxury and a obstacle in the course of charecter building. This in a part of the world where summer temperatures go up to 40/ 45 degrees every year was a bit much according to me, and someone who accpeted such ridiculous rules so stoically and even agreed with them, was worthy of my devotion. He liked me too. I could tell by the way he offered to teach me to play chess, and looked delighted at being hit on the head with a large bit of hail during the years first hailstorm, just because I was thrilled to bits. This sweet young love story unfortunately came to a premature end when I went back home to Calcutta and sent him a letter through my grandmother, who disapproved (yes I was that stupid). The letter never reached him, and we never met again...siiiiiighhhh.
My next crush was my first boyfriend. Have talked about my Valentines Day
post earlier. I think my crush died the day he asked me "Who the hell is Robin Cook ?" How can someone not know Robin Cook!? You might not like him, but you at least know of him. Anyways, I wanted to break up within 2 months of starting to date him, but then we had all these common friends, and if I ditched him, they would think badly of me and be on his side. Therefore I decided to wait till he messed up and then dump him, so that all sympathy and support would be with me...henh henh...yes I was a devious little bitch then. Anyways, so that ended soon enough much to my parents relief. Though in true Hindi filmy style he threatened to kill himself when I dumped him...I distinctly remember sobbing into my mothers lap and saying "I am scared he will hurt himself"... you dont need to say it, I'll say it again....I was extraordinarily stupid!!
Then came this boy who liked me. Was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. We used to chaperone my friend on dates so as to avoid raising parental suspicions and this boy and others would do the same for the boyfriend. His name was...hold your breath..Saurav "Mithun" Chakraborty. ..Mithun being the daaknaam. I think his chances at romantic success was doomed the day his parents christened him. He was....for lack of a better word...lumpy. And would sing third rate Hindi film songs in an attempt at being romantic. And would keep asking me to walk with him down the dark alleys of Salt Lake. With a lot of assistance from his buddies, and a whole of stupidity from yours truly, he managed to get me alone one evening, and told me that he wished to "make friendship" with me. He looked exactly like a distressed cow when he said that, so I think I can be excused for snapping at him that he did not want friendship he wanted much more and I was not in the mood for it. For months after that, that ass would follow me home from the bus stand and stand outside my house...and sing sad songs!!
All the while that "Mithun"da was trying to make friendship with me, I had this humoungous crush on this terrible boy. I think I can safely call him a rowdy...galli ka goonda. Do not ask me why I had a crush on him. I think I found his bloodshot eyes, swaggering gait, and dirty red rag type bandana, incredibly masculine. I looked at him...he stared at me...total chemistry I tell you. Luckily we moved to Bangalore around that time.
Once in Bangalore I started dating my good friend V..who was sweet, but very very weird and a little bit dumb also. I felt bad for him for several reasons and so I dated him(Told you I was stupid). After I dumped him he literally stalked me for a year, complete with distraught phone calls in the middle of the night demanding to know why I was such a bitch. I was quite kind to him I must say, because I felt very guilty about dumping him like that. I am glad to say we have managed to put all that behind us and become good friends today. He has a girlfriend who hates me though. And once after I had spent half an hour drinking coffee with him,she called me up and said "You bitch!! Havent you hurt him enough" and hung up. Most hurtful and stressful that was.
Then I moved to Hyderabad and had my one and only "fling" with this boy who was verrrryyyy intellegent but also very bizarre. He fell in love with someone else while I was away for 5 days so that ended there. Was not a very happy phase of my life. Flings are just not my scene. He is currently doing his Phd in the US, and if gossip is to be believed, he has a girlfriend and a boyfriend. And his girlfriend has a girlfriend. Im quite horrified (because I dated him) and thankful (because I dated him only for 2 months) at the same time. But not surprised. Nope. Always knew he was weird.
I remained crushless after that. Till 2 years later, I met Rahul. Before I admitted to myself that I liked him, I introduced him to Gauri, who had lived through most of my disastrous crushes/ relationships. Her first reaction was "Ron, he is sooooo normal
..." And the rest as they say, is history. Come to think of it, my parents first reaction when they met him was also..."Bah besh shundor normal chele toh.." (He is a nice normal boy). Siiiiigh. Whattotell only!