Life's Like That

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I promise to be a better person I do

Some people are just so insightful. I mean, here I am, moaning and groaning on a space that is technically mine (even if it open to the whole wide world), about my problems and about how mean people are to me, when all my problems would be solved if I just did the following:

"1. stopped being so full of yourself
2. Talked less and LISTENED more
3. attempted to empathise with others thoughts and perspective
4. started blogging more positives. "


Its that simple. Thank you dear DEAR anonymous for putting me right. Who knew really.

Im suitably ashamed of myself. Therefore from now on I shall endeavour to :

  • Use this space only to ask questions about other people: "Rainbeau hows JUdhdo going?" "Marauder has R stopped watching TV?" "Ekta when do you propose to post again? In this lifetime I hope?", "Anonymous tell me did your mother snatch your pacifier away when you were a baby and leave you emotionally scarred for life?"....and so on and so forth. Would request all of you to kindly take the time to respond to my queries. I promise I shall be listening very closely and not talking at all.
  • Empathise with you completely. Hence when Anonymous here comes back to tell me what a pathetic loser I am, instead of asking him / her to eff off, or even better just ignoring him /her, I shall immediately psychoanalyse myself, and write a long post agreeing with Anonymous. (See Anon dear, Im trying to be a better person already, this post is aaaaall about agreeing with you and thinking from your perspective).
  • Shall immediately start blogging more positive. I shall quit writing posts such as this and this, and this. And start writing about how I saw a butterfly on my windowsill and it made me appreciate this wonderful gift called life. How I wake up and look at the clouds above every morning and feel this amaaaazzziiing connection with God. How I have found the strength in me to forgive the auto drivers of Bangalore.I prrrrrrooomise. I really do.

Im a good girl I am. Now Anonymous daaaahhhling, please please do something for me. Tell me how you find the time and energy to go through people's posts, analyse them, write such well thought out comments, go through the whole word verification thing and publish. All for the sake of setting misguided indiviuals like myself on the right path. Such singleminded devotion to other people's lives is indeed praiseworthy and worth emulating. I think aaaalll of us should try to be a little bit more like Anonymous.

On that note, I shall stop here. Am sure Anonymous will be a regular visitor and will follow my progress as a Better Human Being with great approval.

PS: Thanks all of you who left such sweet comments on the previous post. Things are not too good, but at least Ive stopped letting it bother me. JAPda, and chill-a- bong, rum bhakthi was replaced by vodka bhakthi, and most effective it was too :)

Monday, June 26, 2006

Kuch toh log kahenge...contrived.. yes, but it just keeps playing in my head

Things happened over the weekend. Not nice things, not funny things..not stuff that I exaggerate and write about here and then laugh about later. Someone who should ideally have been close to me hurt me...bad. I have not been able to ask why she did what she did (or in this case didnt do)...but if I know this person, it was probably because she was afraid that if she did do it, she would be inviting adverse comments from her friends and family....what will people say...that was probably why.
I have come across this way of thinking many times in the past. Its very difficult for me to come to terms with this obsession with what people will say. Maybe most Indian families live with this fear of people bitching about them,but I belong to that small minority which doesnt. My mother brought me up to believe that if I am convinced that what Im doing is not wrong, then I have nothing to fear from what people say about me. The strength of my own conviction is all I need. Ive seen her live her life on these terms. I respect that. I thank my stars I grew up with this kind of liberal thinking. My mother...in fact both my parents, have always been very unconventional in terms of the freedom they gave me and still give my sister, the kind of things they defend us against. Thank god for that.
But now, Im having to face this completely different situation. Where people forget basic courtesy for fear of what people will say. Where they are downright rude and humiliating. People have said the most amazingly hurtful things to me over the past few months and justified it by saying that they were saying all this because in the past they have been in the same situation and heard all sorts of things from people so they dont want to repeat the experience.
I guess from their point of view its all justified and perfectly acceptable behaviour. But I cannot understand how you can go around hurting someone close to you, for some random bitchy people who have nothing better to do than gossip and say nasty things? How can anyones sense of priorities be soooo completely screwed up? Who are these people that one is soo scared of? Relatives? Friends? Acquaintance?? In my opinion any friend/ relative/ acquaintance who freely bitches about stuff thats happning in your life and spreads gossip and rumours about you, is not worth it. Friends like this should be dropped immediately. Relatives be ignored and acquaintances put in their place. How can anyone with any sense let these people come in the way of people who actually matter?
I dont know what to think, how to deal with the way Im feeling. Am I wrong in the way I think? Is it really a done thing to be so concerned with random people's bitchiness that you go around hurting those close to you? I dont know what to think anymore. All I know is that I have never been this miserable in all my life. What I wouldnt do to be able to go home to my mother right now and never leave again.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Lejer aami lejer tumi, lej diye jaaye chena...

I have been waking up really early of late. Reeeeeaaaaallly early...around 6.30 a.m. To open the door for the most important person in my life, my maid. But this is not about my maid,this is about the fact that when I have just woken up, I am rather incapable of coherent logical thinking. In my half asleep state I potter around and observe stuff, and the vaguest of thoughts occur to me. And then I wake up Rahul and inform him of my vague thoughts. Till now he has never threatened to kill me, but I'm afraid the day might not be too far.

Anyways so today I woke up at that unearthly hour once again. Mumbled instructions to the maid and opened the window so get some fresh air. And observed this dog downstairs that was extremely busy chasing its own tail; it looked like it was having great fun. That got me thinking about tails and their utility. Imagine how much fun it would be if human beings had tails. Amazing no?

Discussed human tails at a later hour with The Bagchi...she seemed to agree with me. We had a looooonnng conversation on Google Talk (god bless Google, thats the only chat engine I can access from work...can you imagine office without chat!!!!?) and given below are our thoughts on the main benefits and characteristics of the human tail. Do let me know if you can think of more.
  • The human tails would be a kind of cross between a horse's, a dog's, a fox's, and a cat's.
  • The longer thicker and glossier your tail, the more beautiful you would be.
  • You could save money on mosquito repellents, since you could repel mosquitoes yourself by whisking it around. Here the Marauding Bagchi objected saying she wouldn't want to stay up all night whisking her tail and that the next day her butt would hurt with all the whisking, but see, theres the beauty of the whole thing...our tails would whisk away pests on their own (much like a horse's) without us needing to be awake for it, the body would be engineered in such a way that the butt wouldnt hurt with all the whisking.
  • Much like the dog, we could entertain ourselves by playing evolved games with our tails. Bagchi suggested a tail-I-fied form of minesweeper, called..yep you guessed it...tailsweeper.
  • L'oreal could start manufacturing tail colour. Aishwarya Rai's tail, like the rest of her, would still be considered by some misguided folks to be the most beautiful in the world, so she could appear in the ads, swishing her tail and saying "when it comes to tail colour, Im very demanding" in the same idiotic fake accent.
  • We could have specialised tail salons like the nail bars that seem to have sprung up overnight in this city.
  • In fact there could be a whole range of tail products...companies like Lakme, Revlon etc would come up with competing, tail shampoos, tail conditioners, tail accessories...think of the huuuge benefit to the cosmetics industry.
  • The points given above were all we had time for. Although Bagchi did mention she wanted to have a chestnut tail...very glamorous according to her. While I would like a nice thick plumy, even if slightly bushy fox like tail...reddish brown. The bushiness of which I would tame with Revlon Anti Frizz Tail Spray.

So what kind of tail would you like? Do tell. Look forward to hearing from you...

Disclaimers and clarifications :

  • No, Bagchi and I had not swallowes / snorted/ injected any illegal substances while coming up with all this. We are extremely*ahem* angelic girls who would never EVER dream of doing such things!!
  • Our conversation and the subsequent post is a direct result of the pressures of filing a cover story (in her case) and a lethal mind effing combination of starry tantrums, assinine clients and loads of mundane work (plus a slightly eccentric mind and very overactive / vivid imagination)
  • For non Bongs: the title of this post is a parody of a line from this poem by Sukumar Roy..Gonf Churi ( Mustache Theft) . The poem deals with the many merits of a moushtache. It is well beyond my linguistic abilities to provide a word to word translation of this line,but it basically means that a lej..a tail.. is your identity...thats what people recognize you by.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Think of a nice title will ya?

I really am suffering from a rather severe case of bloggers block. Just cannot think of anything to write about.

Nothing noteworthy has been happening in my life either.

Except that I pulled a muscle in my leg while working out in the gym and have been in excruciating pain ever since. Been limping around and grimacing with every movement I make. And I havent taken a day off work either. Yes, thank you, your sympathy is much appreciated.

Oh and I went for an ayurvedic massage...for the first and last time. Did you know they make you strip completely? I didnt. If I had, then I definitely would'nt have gone for it. This really scary female masseur(is that how you spell it?) stood and watched me while I very reluctantly took off each item of clothing. For someone who cannot change clothes if there are photographs of people in the same room, this was torture beyond belief. And then she poured gallons of oil all over. And massaged. And...you know what? This already sounds like the beginning of a 3rd rate lesbian flick, let me not make it worse by getting into the traumatic details. Suffice to say, by the end of it I was more stressed out than I was when I went in. *shudders*

I saw The Da Vinci Code. It was boring. Lacked the suspense factor of the book. And whoever decided to cast Tom Hanks as Langdon? Were they crazy? George Clooney would have been a muchhhhhhhhh better Langdon. Zero chemistry between Hanks and the female who plays Sophie Nevue. At the end of the movie when Hanks kisses her and tells her its upto her to decide the next step,its like a scene between a father and daughter. Like a fond parent saying bye bye to his little girl.Tchah!

What did enliven entire movie experience somewhat, was the presence of this psycho freak behind us. Just after the movie started, this little baby coughed once or twice. And this freak pipes up "Please keep the child quiet for gods sake" in a really rude way. I mean come on...all the child did was cough, it didnt even talk or scream or disturb anyone in any way. So anyways, during the interval, N and I were discussing this and saying that whoever this woman was she should have created a soundproof room and watched the movie in there on DVD. Suddenly Psycho Freak butts into the conversation and starts abusing us and telling us to mind our own business.She even called us rude!I ask you!!! What cheek. It was just showing signs of turning into a nasty little catfight with N and I on one side and PF and her buddies on another when V and Rahul came back and broke it up. Tchah again!! What a waste.

I have spent the entire day writing one document after another, all centering around the theme of sensuality and indiviuality and I am ready to SCREAM!!!! Am feeling extremely violent right now!!! I need a drink.

I must go and buy chicken and Harpic, and for some reason the very thought is making me very depressed on one hand and even more violent on another.

All in all, not in a very peaceful frame of mind at the moment.

To make matters worse, I am experiencing this distinct craving for alu kabli. Not any alu kabli mind you. Alu kabli made by this guy who stands at the corner near Bhalla footwear shop in Gariahat. Or maybe even the guy who operates next to Bashontidebi College. Needless to say I dont have access to either. GRRRRRR. I hate my life.

Im going home now. No. Sorry, Im going to buy chicken and Harpic now. Then if I get an auto from MG Road I shall go home. In my current frame of mind I would dearly love to shoot any auto driver that refuses to take me home..in the head!! *bloodthirsty look at this point*, but I dont have a gun either. Let me reiterate the point about hating my life.

Did I tell you guys about the time I threatened to throw stones at this group of cops on MG Road?? They were being rude and unhelpful and I lost my temper. I told them they deserved every piece of stone that was chucked at them during Rajkumar's funeral, and that if I had my way I would start one more riot against them right now. This was a week after the whole Rajkumar episode. I think they were about to arrest me when Rahul showed up and took me away. He does show up at the most dramatic moments doesnt he? Anyways, I feel like I might just pick up a stone and chuck at unhelpful cops / auto drivers today.

On second thoughts, I think Ill wait for Rahul to pick me up. Why get into unnecessary trouble? Prison is not a very nice place to live in Im sure.

Anyways, bye bye for now. Don't know when Ill be back next, dont think it will be for long time..unless something exciting happens during the weekend. Take care. Ta.