Friday, February 17, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happppy Birthday Depo!!
Can we rewind and go back you think? That was probably the last time all of us met up wasnt it?. How quickly time flies, and how things change! Am glad you were able to make it to Bangalore, even if it was for a really short while and the prawn biriyani did not happen ( but Im thinking the afghani chicken was adequate compensation).
Hope you have a fabulous day and an even better year!! Take care* hugs*
Monday, February 13, 2006
Moving on to regular programming. So, its Valentines Day tomorrow. For the past few years Valentines Day merely means writing Valentines special press releases for icky heart shaped and/or pink coloured products. It also means avoiding restaurants, and roads like MG Road so that I dont have to deal with the overabundance of red hearts, ugly Cupids with bows and arrows and of course young couples who seem to be joined at the hip. Thats all. Loves special day means just about that much to me.
Things were not always like this. There was a time when I would get excited about Valentines Day, agonize over what gift to buy and plan elaborate dates...the works. Unfortunately, Saint Valentine did not seem to like me much. Disaster is the word that springs to mind.
The year: 1995/96. I am in Class IX or X(cant remember exactly) and totally thrilled about having a boyfriend. D is a family friends son. (We used to play together as kids, then lost touch then met at a wedding and pubescent hormones took over...you get the picture Im sure). So we have been "seeing each other" for a month, and Valentines Day is to be the BIG DATE. Till now we have had to restrict our interactions to extended phone calls and depend on common friends/ family friends organising get togethers/picnics/ Saraswati Pujo and inviting both our families. Therefore, we are both highly excited. We have bought 'advance' movie tickets, and plan to end the date with some hand holding and sweet nothings over icecream.
Unfortunately for us, our prolonged phone conversations have been overheard, moony eyed glances at get togethers noticed and parental suspicions raised. Due to several factors, poor D has been labelled "undesirable" and a "bad influence" by my parents. So when on V'Day I announce that I am going out for a movie, meaningful glances are exchanged between the parents, and my father immediately says that he will drop me to the theatre. (Please note I was quite the spoilt brat where it came to public transport when I was young, and usually demanded the car if I had to go and meet people. Therefore my declaration of taking the bus to go for a movie would have naturally made the most gullible and trusting parent suspicious). I protest vociferously but succeed only in reinforcing his unspoken suspicion that his little angel is upto no good. So I give in and let Baba drive me to Priya Cinema. After which the man refuses to leave till my "friend" shows up. Through my desperate protests and attempts to convince him otherwise, I see D reach the theatre, take a second to register my father's presence and dive for cover behind a car.... all behind my fathers back. Thankfully. Finally Baba leaves with this dialogue " I suppose your friend is obviously not going to show up as long as I am here right?" (!!!!!!!!)
So we heave big sighs of (misguided) relief and walk in for the movie, and spend a happy 3 hours holding sweaty hands and attempting to rest my head on his shoulders (most uncomfortable). Then, feeling all mushy and gushy and looking forward to icecream, we walk out of the theatre hand in hand…straight into my wonderful father. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: Baba!! Ehehehehehehe (please read as nervous hysterical laughter).
D: Oh!! (drops hand that till now he has been holding tenderly, like it’s a hot potato).
Me: Eta D, eta Baba (This is D This is Baba). Ehehehe.
D: Good morning Uncle. (It is 5.30 in the evening)
Me: Hehe!! Good morning. Heehee!! Baba!!
D: Eh!? Eh!! Heh! ( various tones and intonations and pitches)
Baba: Hmm (curt nod and tight smile at D). Tinni get in the car.
Me: Yes…car…ehehehehe. I shall go now. Heh.
I dive into the car without a second look at D and we drive home in stony silence punctuated by my nervous and still slightly hysterical giggling (which on hindsight, Im sure didn’t help my case much).
Not exactly what we had in mind for V’day. My romantic first date ended with my mother making up for my fathers lack of words. She screamed at me consistently for the next 6 months, which was when I dumped D( he was really rather dull and I grew out of it).
I remained boyfriendless after D till I reached college. By which time my parents had relaxed considerably and though I never explicitly told them I was seeing V, I think they guessed and seemed to like him. For our first V’ Day together, we decided to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner. I bought him a nice T shirt and he bought this really cute stuffed green and orange turtle and really sappy card ( we were 19 so sappy cards seemed romantic, ok!?) All seemed to be going ok, till the food arrived. At the sight of the Chicken Escalopes, the mildly nauseated feeling that I had been ignoring all evening could not be ignored any more. I just about made it to the restroom on time. V drove me home and spent the evening holding my hair back as I puked! Bad case of food poisioning from stale college canteen egg puffs.
The year after that we decided to go to a restaurant on MG Road. And almost got trampled by the massive crowd. And felt up by a drunk pervert..or perverts..difficult to tell in that crowd. So by the time we got to the restaurant we were both quite put off and in no mood to enjoy ourselves.
After that, I decided that Saint Valentines does not like me much. So Valentines Day stopped being special in 2nd year of college. I haven’t done anything for V’Day since then. Why tempt fate!? This year Rahul will be working late (as usual) and I shall go home after work and watch tv. Sounds like a plan doesn’t it?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Whats wrong you ask me? Nothing. Nothing that I can put my finger on. I have a decent job (maybe not the best but not the worst either), finally have a really nice boss, things at home are peaceful, everything seems to be working out on the Rahul front ( although his parents seem to favour the adjective "talkative" whenever they describe me to people, sometimes they add a "very" before the talkative. So I am now trying desperately to cultivate the strong silent image...trying being the operative word). All in all things are good (touchwood) and there is no reason for me to be uncheerful.
Monday, February 06, 2006
People who are married!
- Ma, Baba ( and any other family members who might be lurking around) go away right now. This post is not meant for you. Reading this post shall lead to a lot of unnecessary questions which I dont want to answer. No reason really...but I just don't feel like answering any questions.
- Weird anonymous people who leave cheap stupid comments, as always I will not stop you from commenting by disabling anonymous comments. I hope you will have the sense not to leave signs of your stupidity on my blog.
- Other anonymous people who leave sensible decent comments, please by all means go ahead and comment. No issues with you guys.
Hah!! Now that thats out of my system. So MR, SR, MM and I were sitting and talking about life in general. The conversation soon turned to men and dealing with men and such like. (Please note, I was the only unmarried female in the group). We laughed and exchanged tales of masculine stupidity and related problems etc. After a point, the conversation turned a little risque. A couple of dirty jokes were cracked. It soon showed signs of turning to personal experiences. And then...then SR looks at me, giggles and says " Hey Ron, you shouldnt be here. You are too young."
TOO YOUNG!? Me!? Im 26!! She is 29!! How, pray, does that make me "too young"? To which she replied amidst much giggling " You are not married...heehee..this kind of conversation is just not suitable for you". I seriously thought she was joking, till MR chipped in saying "Yeah and anyways I guess only married women will understand what we are talking about", and I realized that all of them were in fact more or less serious. Thats when I walked off in a bit of a huff!!
The worst thing it, this is not the first time this kind of a thing has happened. Married women seem to belong to some kind of an exclusive club, wherein only other married women can understand their lives, their anecdotes and appreciate the endless boring tales of maids and recipes!! Any signs of boredom on ones part are dismissed with "oh you are not married, you will not understand". Gah!!!
Why do I need to be a married woman to understand recipes? or maidservant problems? or sexual anecdotes? Im not exactly an underage little girl am I?? Im 26 for gods sake!! How do these people have the temerity to assume that in this day and age Im a innocent little babe in the woods who has been protected from the world, never cooked a meal or ever had a single domestic crisis!? . Why do I need to be married to just understand and sympathise with someones domestic problems? Or suggest easy recipes? Or laugh at their sex stories?Or understand how annoying men are when they refuse to let go the remote? Its not even a question of whether or not I have actually done all those things. Correct me if Im wrong, but arent all of these just a matter of a little bit of sympathy, and a little bit of sense of humour? (It is a different matter altogether that I get bored to death when people go on and on and on discussing how their washing machine is not working and how their husbands demand hot rotis for dinner). How dare these women assume!?
As a child, everyone around you keeps telling you "You will understand this when you grow up. You are too young now." It used to irritate the hell out of me. Looks like things just never change. You will always be to young or too inexperienced!!
On the other hand, men who are married seem to only want to talk about how marriage is a terrible thing and try their best to convince you that you should never get married. When they are not talking about the sex or the hot babe in the next office i.e. The more they get the more obssessed they seem to be!
Marriage is not a good idea I think. It turns perfectly sensible men and women into absolute idiots. There should be a married people's club, where they go and discuss things that only married people will understand and stay away from sensible unmarried people like myself. I dont think Ill get married! Can you imagine me giggling like a demented hyena and telling some poor young unmarried girl "You are not married, you will just not get this..heehee"!! Eeeek!! what an absolutely horrible thought!! No! I must convince Rahul and concerned family members that a prolonged courtship ( cannot for the life of me think of a less Victorian word) with each one living in separte houses, but spending a lot of time together, is the best way! The only way in fact to remain sensible and appreciate other people's maturity.
PS: Even as I write this, a married woman in the office has sent the following jokes via email to all in the officel:
Only a married woman can identify with these, but have fun nevertheless...
WOMEN'S REVENGE:"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him... legally."
WIFE VS. HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S: A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
Aaaaaaarrrgghhh!!See what I mean!? Its like a frigging club or something!!!! Why do I have to be married to find these jokes funny!!?? Why!? Why!? Why!?