Life's Like That

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The men I have loved.and who have loved me..total chicklit stuff

We were discussing first crushes and the like at work the other day...no we don't work too hard in this office...and it occured to me that I have incredibly bad taste in men. Oh, and the most appalling men seem to have crushes on me. Really!! What was I thinking.

The first boy who had a crush on me was, I think, about 22/23 years old. I was 14. He lived in Purulia. Now, I love Purulia, and everybody there, but most of the young men belonging to that town were rather....umm...I dont know...idiotic. I could be friends with them, but could not begin to imagine anything else (This one parar dada wore this belt that had twinkling lights on it...he would walk down the dark lanes of Purulia wearing black shirt and black trousers and this belt, and from afar all you could see was a line of twinkling lights suspended in mid air walking towards you. Very scary). Anyways, so this boy knew this little boy I used to play with. This Little Boy would come in the afternoon and stand in the garden while I stood regally on my balcony and we would talk about life in general. And this Boy-Who-Had-Crush On-Me would cycle past looking at the balcony. He would keep cycling past my house all evening...which was when I would descend to the garden to play with the Little Boy and other children. Little Boy was most paaka and would drop hints left right and centre, which I chose to ignore naturally. Because the Boy-who-had-crush-on-me was really quite atrocious. Wore hawai chappals and odd looking shirts and had khoncha khoncha daari (dirty unshaven stubble)..much like an escaped convict. Oh but I did enjoy all the attention, and would diligently stand on the balcony all afternoon in the searing heat. Like I said, bad taste and no discretion whatsoever.

My first crush was our tenants son. By our I mean my grandparents. And yes, the location was again, Purulia. We were both around 15 I think. Although he didnt live there, he studied in the Norendropur Ram Krishna Mission and stayed in the hostel and was well read and serious and intellectual. And very high principled. Apparantly their hostel did not have fans, because fans were an unnecessary luxury and a obstacle in the course of charecter building. This in a part of the world where summer temperatures go up to 40/ 45 degrees every year was a bit much according to me, and someone who accpeted such ridiculous rules so stoically and even agreed with them, was worthy of my devotion. He liked me too. I could tell by the way he offered to teach me to play chess, and looked delighted at being hit on the head with a large bit of hail during the years first hailstorm, just because I was thrilled to bits. This sweet young love story unfortunately came to a premature end when I went back home to Calcutta and sent him a letter through my grandmother, who disapproved (yes I was that stupid). The letter never reached him, and we never met again...siiiiiighhhh.

My next crush was my first boyfriend. Have talked about my Valentines Day post earlier. I think my crush died the day he asked me "Who the hell is Robin Cook ?" How can someone not know Robin Cook!? You might not like him, but you at least know of him. Anyways, I wanted to break up within 2 months of starting to date him, but then we had all these common friends, and if I ditched him, they would think badly of me and be on his side. Therefore I decided to wait till he messed up and then dump him, so that all sympathy and support would be with me...henh henh...yes I was a devious little bitch then. Anyways, so that ended soon enough much to my parents relief. Though in true Hindi filmy style he threatened to kill himself when I dumped him...I distinctly remember sobbing into my mothers lap and saying "I am scared he will hurt himself"... you dont need to say it, I'll say it again....I was extraordinarily stupid!!

Then came this boy who liked me. Was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. We used to chaperone my friend on dates so as to avoid raising parental suspicions and this boy and others would do the same for the boyfriend. His name was...hold your breath..Saurav "Mithun" Chakraborty. ..Mithun being the daaknaam. I think his chances at romantic success was doomed the day his parents christened him. He was....for lack of a better word...lumpy. And would sing third rate Hindi film songs in an attempt at being romantic. And would keep asking me to walk with him down the dark alleys of Salt Lake. With a lot of assistance from his buddies, and a whole of stupidity from yours truly, he managed to get me alone one evening, and told me that he wished to "make friendship" with me. He looked exactly like a distressed cow when he said that, so I think I can be excused for snapping at him that he did not want friendship he wanted much more and I was not in the mood for it. For months after that, that ass would follow me home from the bus stand and stand outside my house...and sing sad songs!!

All the while that "Mithun"da was trying to make friendship with me, I had this humoungous crush on this terrible boy. I think I can safely call him a rowdy...galli ka goonda. Do not ask me why I had a crush on him. I think I found his bloodshot eyes, swaggering gait, and dirty red rag type bandana, incredibly masculine. I looked at him...he stared at me...total chemistry I tell you. Luckily we moved to Bangalore around that time.

Once in Bangalore I started dating my good friend V..who was sweet, but very very weird and a little bit dumb also. I felt bad for him for several reasons and so I dated him(Told you I was stupid). After I dumped him he literally stalked me for a year, complete with distraught phone calls in the middle of the night demanding to know why I was such a bitch. I was quite kind to him I must say, because I felt very guilty about dumping him like that. I am glad to say we have managed to put all that behind us and become good friends today. He has a girlfriend who hates me though. And once after I had spent half an hour drinking coffee with him,she called me up and said "You bitch!! Havent you hurt him enough" and hung up. Most hurtful and stressful that was.

Then I moved to Hyderabad and had my one and only "fling" with this boy who was verrrryyyy intellegent but also very bizarre. He fell in love with someone else while I was away for 5 days so that ended there. Was not a very happy phase of my life. Flings are just not my scene. He is currently doing his Phd in the US, and if gossip is to be believed, he has a girlfriend and a boyfriend. And his girlfriend has a girlfriend. Im quite horrified (because I dated him) and thankful (because I dated him only for 2 months) at the same time. But not surprised. Nope. Always knew he was weird.

I remained crushless after that. Till 2 years later, I met Rahul. Before I admitted to myself that I liked him, I introduced him to Gauri, who had lived through most of my disastrous crushes/ relationships. Her first reaction was "Ron, he is sooooo normal..." And the rest as they say, is history. Come to think of it, my parents first reaction when they met him was also..."Bah besh shundor normal chele toh.." (He is a nice normal boy). Siiiiigh. Whattotell only!

27 Comments:

  • awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    umm the awe was for the last bit not the first part of the post, all the above bits had me cringing in mortification, I have apalling taste too :D maybe I should start chicklit or fishchicklit soon, inspired by you :D
    ooh, i'm the first commentor, proves I am avid reader of yer blog, hehe.

    By Blogger babelfish, at 7:26 AM  

  • hahah!
    This is such a honest post!!!
    lovedd it..and after reading ur post I realised I have had sucha boring life..most of my life!!:-)

    But well as they say pactice makes perfecto!..So all the crazy crushes were to gear u up for someone normal eventually..so hail rahil!:-)
    Huggzzz!!!

    By Blogger Ekta, at 7:02 PM  

  • Enjoyed the post as usual. And all I can say now is thank god u found Rahul!! seriously...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:40 PM  

  • Worth the time spend on reading it...Good one!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:37 PM  

  • @babel: u also have bad taste eh?? doo tell more. fishchicklit will be most welcome :)

    @ekta: not too many people can have such terrible taste.betetr boring than weird and awful.

    @gauri: well rahul is not aaaalll that normal either. i shall soon post some photographs which shall show you all what i mean...*sinister look*

    @anonymous:yes, umm, i realize it was a looooong post, thank you for reading the whole thing patiently.

    By Blogger Ron, at 11:58 PM  

  • Rahul? Normal? HENH!

    By Blogger Deep, at 3:08 AM  

  • Has Rahul been able to maintain his normalcy since the day he met you ? Jst kiddin...nice post.

    By Blogger Chilla-Bong, at 3:10 AM  

  • I had most enormous bad taste in crushes too. I once had a crush on a very ineligible (read total loafer-type but very sexy looking boy with that bad boy appeal) person in school. This person had persued me once when i was in class 6 (can you iamgine? who says kids these days grow up fast?) and suddenly in class 11, love blossomed again and he 'proposed'. But I fought temptation and did not give in because i feared peer pressure. My friends would just KILL me if I went out with him, so I stood fast and refused him and broke his heart while he swore revenge and suicide and what not.

    What exciting days.

    By Blogger The Marauder's Map, at 4:06 AM  

  • Purulia?!?! Let me guess ... Nodiha?

    And oh, the guy with the shimmering belt was priceless.

    J.A.P.

    By Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock, at 6:27 AM  

  • @deep :while you have to admit that when compared to me, the boy is the model of normalcy, it is also true that he is not aaaaasss sane and sensible as i have made him out to be. i think i shall post those pretty boy pictures soon...hyuk hyuk!! he might kill me afterwards though...still, i dont like all the positive feedback he seems to be getting. hrrmph.

    @chillabong: the boy is beyond help in certain matters. let me give you an example...we were watching superman in posh theatre, and u know that scene where the bullet bounces off supermans eye? well during that scene he turns to me and says LOUDLY, "tchah, even Rajnikant does the same thing in his movies, in addition he also catches the bullet and chucks it back at the villains who die!" People turned around and looked at us. Embarrassing. He is obssessed with all things tamil, having grown up in tam land. Oh and he likes Himesh!! And doesnt recognize the maid who has been working in his house for more than a year. He drags some srbid woman off the roads to clean house in his sis in laws absence. It is left to me to figure out there is a problem somewhere!! he once washed shoes in the washing machine. I could go on and on,but I guess I have made my point. I do not appreciate this outpour of sympathy and support for that boy. At all.

    @marauder : tsk tsk. jab pyaar kiya toh darna kya? loafer type boy could have been changed...your love and caring could have transformed him into Prince Charming. Tsk. No sense of romance.

    PS: am verrry glad to hear someone else also had feelings for loafer type boy. i saw the rowdy with the red bandana again recently in cal..and i was HORRIFIED!!! what was I thinking!!!!!???

    By Blogger Ron, at 6:34 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Ron, at 6:36 AM  

  • @JAP: Not really Nodiha, but close, Cooks Compound..near Haripada Lodge, in case you are really familiar with Purulia. And yes, beltdada (as i referred to him in private) was real;ly priceless. Wish I had a camera at that time to record it for posterity.

    By Blogger Ron, at 6:41 AM  

  • Maybe Rahul is not so normal post - Ron. :D.But really cute post, childhood crushes are perhaps almost always stupid.

    By Blogger Dreamcatcher, at 6:53 AM  

  • lol Esp the lighted belt guy and the one who turned out bisexual! Really!!

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 7:54 AM  

  • Maane, Ron, you are just the too hilarious only. Whattosay also. Weird people also have crushes on me! But I'm weirder. I've not had a crush till date. Beat that!

    By Blogger Rimi, at 10:44 AM  

  • Oh Man!
    Do I relate to your post!
    Sometimes I feel embarrased just thinking of the kind of women I have had crushes on and its hilarious!

    By Blogger Anand, at 6:45 PM  

  • wow! envious crush life u have had there...makes me want to pity my plain vanilla existence...lol. but mithunda deserved better i tell u..could he dance??

    By Blogger Abhishek Chatterjee, at 8:33 PM  

  • @dc: you know i was actually thinking of just that. can think of a 100 things to write in that one :P

    @m: can u imagine how horrified i was when my friend told me that J had one of each!! but you know, knowing him, he might have just lied about it to make his life sound hep...he was really that weird.

    @rimi: better to not have any crushes than have crushes on peculiar / totally ineligible men!!

    @anand: henh henh...do tell more :D

    @abhishek: deserved better!? that..that...LUMP!!??? NO WAY!! I was too kind to him. I shd hv told my dad he was following me home and all. and the thought of him dancing fills me with horror!! eeeeek.

    By Blogger Ron, at 10:31 PM  

  • touching!

    By Blogger White Forest, at 9:02 AM  

  • Well,congrats and good luck now :-)

    By Blogger manish, at 11:04 AM  

  • i bumped into this post on a cold, gray morning and i am smiling now. nice. i like. thank you.

    By Blogger cutting, at 11:06 PM  

  • Ah, Purulia and its quota of horrendous boys. I got pursued by 3 sindhi boys on scooter(yes, three of them together, and I couldn't ever understand which one of them was the besotted fool)in class 6 and they followed me everywhere, school, maths tuition, market. Such days. Sigh.
    And then there was this 30 year old gentleman, whose grandfather decided that at least one woman from our family had to get maried into his badi. He tried fruitlessly with my ma, and my 3 mashis, and then tried once again to hitch a 14 year-old me to his 30 year old grandson, posted in Rajasthan...kichu dite hobe na, meye to lokkhi, aar podashona korta parbe, kono oshubidha nei. Hee. Dad bristled. The onlt time I've seen his moustache quiver in indgnation.
    The only time I fell in love was this really fair, intellectual, madhyamik aar high-secondary'te stand kora chele, but my parents got on my case harder than kiran Bedi on Tihar jail inmates. And for the past 8/9 years I've been falling in love every two weeks or so, so many good looking young men about, spoilt for choice.
    Mera number kab aayega? :D

    By Blogger good morning, midnight, at 11:35 PM  

  • @white magic: erm...wasnt meant to be touching really...

    @manish: thank you :)

    @cutting: that was a very nice thing to say. im glad my idiotic past made you smile....no really..i mean that :P

    where have you been? i cant open your blog from office unfortunately. half the things are firewalled around here:(

    @gm,m: heeheehee!!! that was funny. what was the matter with boys from purulia? sooo dumb. and yopu had that fixation with "porashonaaye bhalo" chele did u? it was one of my pre requisites...except for the rowdy of course, with him it was more what i thought was sex appeal. n rahul of course..the boy hasquite proudly flunked exams here and there...right up to college. what AM i doing with him again!!?

    By Blogger Ron, at 12:27 AM  

  • and Rahul is seeing you now ... so how does that make him normal?
    :)
    venky

    By Blogger Venky, at 9:31 AM  

  • Too good.

    By Blogger Soham Pablo, at 4:46 AM  

  • too good!
    BTW, u guys cud acces the blogs so much?i cudnt view my own for almost a week now... it was unplugged jus this morning...

    By Blogger J-O-S-H (My Bench !), at 5:20 AM  

  • Accidentally stumbled upon this blog. Very -very- interesting/refreshing and nice read!
    (I actually did get the letter :) - but I don't think mine reached you)

    By Blogger Siddhartha, at 2:41 AM  

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