Life's Like That

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Quirky Me

I am quite a quirky person, some people would call it weird, but since this is my blog I shall ignore such people! Hrmph! Also, I am bored and see no harm in boring the rest of you with 10 irrelevant details about the most fascinating person I know...ME!!!! So here goes:

I am a weirdo magnet. The world's most weird people seem to instinctively sense some kind of kinship with me and come off to bond. Let me give you an example: G and I were waiting for someone on Brigade Road when this vague man with an American twang came and asked us if we could help him. I thought he needed directions to some place and said yes of course, after which he proceeded to sit next to me and tell me how he had come to India to search for a wife, and 5 minutes ago he saw someone in a shoe shop and fell in love. "How do I tell this woman I love her? I just saw her in a shop, I dont know how to reach her" was his plaintive query. Forget the idiocy of his situation, the fact that there were 2 of us, but Wife Hunter chose to confide in ME should tell you what a weirdo magnet I am. There was also the strange man with white spots on his shorts, on a train back from Bombay, who sat next to me and sang "Meri zindaaagiiii hi kyaaaa ek kati patang haiii" and told me his life story and that he wanted to get married. He totally ignored G and A and latched on to me!! Uff!

I frequently talk to myself, although I prefer to think of it as "thinking aloud". I verbalise my thoughts, so shoot me. Also when Im very very tense about meeting someone, I tend to rehearse my conversation with the person I am to meet, wherein I double up as that person as well. For eg:
Me: hello aunty.
Me asRahuls mom: hello beta, nice to finally meet you(just before our first meeting).
Thats not so weird is it?

Yes, well, *ahem*! Lets move on. The strangest things keeps happening to me for no fault of mine. The other day my auto driver stopped the auto, got out, and returned with a large live owl which he proceeded to put in the space behind the passenger seat. Naturally I freaked and ran for my life. But the point is, noone I spoke to has had any such experience...most people wanted to know why such things happen only to me. I dont know, they just do :(

I cannot eat babycorn unless its been chopped into small pieces. Cutting it lenghtwise and serving it to me wont work, no matter how well its been cooked. It reminds me of lizards!

I always always finish the curry and keep a small bit of roti or naan or paratha or whatever, aside to eat emni emni (translation: without any curry, plain). When eating a roll, I eat 2/3rds of it normally, then open it out, eat the chicken and then slowly eat the paratha. I scrape the cream off cream biscuits and eat the biscuit first and only then eat the scraped off cream. I scrape the chocolate off Kit Kat and then eat the wafer. I somehow detach the chocolate covering of a chocobar, put it on a plate and keep in the freezer, then eat the vanilla bit and then eat the chocolate covering...mmmm. I eat the shingara (samosa) covering first and then the stuffing. I pick green peas out of the curry and save to eat last. Please note, I do most of the above (the more disgusting things anyways) in the privacy of my own house when noone is looking, never in public.

I cant look at people brushing their teeth. Grosses me out. And that includes me. I do not look in the mirror while brushing.

I swear fluently and frequently in English, but cannot bring myself to say the same words in Bengali or Hindi without blushing and dying of embarrasment. For eg: dumb f*** is a frequently used term, but ask me to say the Bengali equivalent and I would much rather go and cross Cunningham Road 16 times.

I cannot change clothes in room containing pictures / posters of people looking straight at me (i.e looking into the camera). I feel they are looking at me. This problem with photographs extend to other situations as well...will leave that one to your imaginations.

I have developed an obssesive compulsive disorder as far as locking doors, windows, turning off the gas, lights, geysers etc is concerned. Especially before leaving the house or before I sleep at night. I check everything 3-6 times at least, as a consequence Im always late for work :(

I am a neatness and cleanliness freak. Now this may come as a HUGE shock to my family, considering the pig stye like condition of room they are used to, but ever since Ive moved into my own place I seem to have turned into a neat and clean demon. If the maid doesnt come for a day, I feel sick to just see the dusty floors.Clothes must be immediately folded and put away neatly in the cupboard. Things should be exactly where and how I had put them originally and so on and so forth. Its very scary, I scare myself at times.

So thats that. Im not thaaaaaaat weird am I? I mean, ok, agreed Im slightly...umm...eccentric, but not TOTALLY weird as some people have been telling me I am...am I? Whats the weirdest thing about you? Tell me,let me compare...

36 Comments:

  • ha ha ha....this one was really good. There is some weird pleasure one derives out of reading about other people's idiosyncrasies and eccentricities. I do share many traits with you but I will not tell you which ones :))Because I too perform all these weird behaviors in the privacy of my home, never ever in public. So no one really knows :))

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 6:14 AM  

  • Ya everyone shares similar traits and sometimes it is good to be wierd alteast you are not as superficial as other people.

    By Anonymous rahul, at 6:32 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Kele Panchu, at 9:10 AM  

  • I'm writing an article on 'psychology'. This one should give it a boost. Everyone has his/her own idiosyncrasy. But that 'gora' and that 'kora kagaz' guy were simply 'jhaaRhifying' you. :) May be you were the most attractive/gullible/approachable among your companions.

    By Blogger Kele Panchu, at 9:16 AM  

  • I like you. Really really like you.My kind of person. Do you know that if there is a bottle of water, or glass of water or pitcher of water, or bucket of water and me in proximity, i always always manage to kick and overturn vessel and cause mini-flood? Without exception.

    By Blogger good morning, midnight, at 11:50 AM  

  • It was really nice to read about ur idiosyncrasies. Very interesting. well don't worry everybody has it.
    Beggers seem to be attracted to me. they r after me wherever I go. If i'm in a group, i'll be the only one they walk to n ask(demand-sometimes snacth)for amls. some magnet like u.

    Once there was a mad man who came after me n held my hand, from the back. goddd i had the shock of my life when i turned to see this face with a long toungue starring at me. so this happenes to all i guess. i feel this after i read ur post. so don't worry.
    it happens.n yes with the eating stuff too. but that of course is done by ur own choice n u enjoy it n thankfully is much better than some wierdo acts like u n i mentioned. hmm i guess i'll join ur club or u mine. wat say u?

    p.s: really well written post.

    By Blogger sonia, at 2:41 PM  

  • hahaha... guess i can very well relate my weirdness with your post!!!

    one more to my list is i have shoe fetish... i buy any shoes which look good and i look at them smile and keep back in the box... now thats totally weird .. loll!!

    By Blogger ArChaNa, at 6:45 PM  

  • Hey,
    thats freaky!
    some stranger coming and consulting u on how to approach someone he has fallen in love with 5 min back!!
    Sounds creepy to me!

    By Blogger Ekta, at 9:08 PM  

  • Hmmm.....interesting!!!
    But hey, I can almost catch up with you in the weirdness department.
    Among many other things, the thing that (I think) gives my weirdness quotient a boost is the fact that I never am able to find(at least for 15 minutes) the clothes I set aside to wear to work after a bath every morning.
    Beat that.

    By Blogger Soham Pablo, at 9:22 PM  

  • Hello, you are still wondering why you attract all manner of weirdos? I mean, they too need to fraternise with like-minded souls, don't they? (cackles)

    By Blogger The Marauder's Map, at 12:11 AM  

  • Oh gawd!
    All u women seem to develop that once u start getting "older" I think!
    The Wife also has this...HAS to check the gas n times before sleeping or leaving the house, the door, geyser ALL has to be checked!
    Not to be given up even if we'r dead late!

    By Blogger Anand, at 1:14 AM  

  • Henh!! Im not the only one with "idiosyncracies" I see...most reassuring this is.

    @m: Not fair. You cant know all mine and not tell me yours. Tell right now I say!!

    @rahul: aww. thats sooo sweet honey!! but next time I want to check the geyser the 15th time, dont snap at me like you usually do. Smile and say, "go ahead sweetie, at least you are not superficial" :P

    @panchuda: psychology huh!? im glad ive been of some help to you, even though its not in the most flattering of ways. as for the weirdos, i think you were bang on target with the "gullible" bit...I probably have some kind of sign on my forehead visible only to weirdos that says "Try her, she will fall for anything!!" :(

    @gm,m: heheh. now thats classic rahul.only its not just water in his case....its ANYTHING. he is known as "clumsy fellow" to his near and dear ones.if and when we have babies, he's not allowed to pick them up or play withthem unless he is sitting bang in the middle of a large bed surrounded by pillows and anxious nanny / me / mother..either mine or his.

    @sonia: a mad woman walked up to me and slapped me and walked away...just like that. so ye si do understand your fear!! gawd!!

    @archana: really? you just look at them?? not wear them?? but i do understand,. i do the same with my earrings..
    welcome to my blog btw.

    @ekta: very very freaky!!! specially the guy on the train...it was a 24 hour journey and i swear he didnt leave my side for more than 45 mins. G if she ever reads this and comments will vouch for it...he freaked us all out.

    @soham: heheheh...thats cute but :P

    @marauder:hrrmph!!! thats all ill say to you!

    @anand: of course she does. you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure that everything has been switched off, you dont want to come back home to a leaking gas do you? or have the geyser on all night? if you ask me, you men should try and start developing similar habits. good for u.

    By Blogger Ron, at 1:56 AM  

  • I think you should nominate yourself for The Weird Site Award.
    Fully agree with Panchu that the wife-seekers were cases of pure jharibaazi.And agree even more with Anand it's got something to do with age.Afterall Mother of all weirdo is Buroboyeshe Bhimraati.But then again asking a lady her age or even dropping a hint about it is not considered to be civilized.So phool-stop.

    By Blogger Chilla-Bong, at 3:09 AM  

  • hahaaha... Ron this was really funny. I m sure most of us experience these things. But about wierd people being attracted to u, I will vouch for it. In fact, you have mentioned only few of those wierdos here. There are a lot more who I obviously wouldn't want to make public! I m sure you will kill me if I do that!

    By Anonymous Gauri, at 3:56 AM  

  • Not sure how much of an insight this gave me in to your life... but was extremely relieved to know that other people too do things like this, and that contrary to everything I believed I'm quite normal, after all!

    By Blogger Deep, at 4:09 AM  

  • @gauri: oooh!!! i know the people you mean!! dont you dare bring it up here!! how mean you are! gah!!

    @deep: oh wow!! you finally found the time to comment. *sniff* im sooooo honoured :P

    anyways,dont be soo happy about being normal...you are not. you do a 100 weirder things that i shall not bring up here since its a public forum and all that. im such a good girl.

    By Blogger Ron, at 5:01 AM  

  • @chillabong: that was a COOL site. thanks a ton. but maybe you should nominate me, i cant nominate myself.. shy is coming. *blushhh*

    welcome to my blog :D

    By Blogger Ron, at 5:04 AM  

  • Speaking of weirdos I am remember a junior of mine who on an Osthomi night went back home in heavily intoxicated state.As soon as his dad opened the doors he told him "Uncle,your son has told me to inform you that he won't be returning tonite".Then he did an U-turn and was about to leave when his papa brought him back to his senses with a dosage of Bata chappals.When later I asked him why he acted like that, he replied "I really felt that I was somebody else".

    By Blogger Bishu, at 7:02 AM  

  • Ron - I will show this to my friends who untill now thought and made me believe that there was something about me that got rickshaw drivers, boat men, chaukidaars, strange people in the aircraft - talking to me. This man in the aircraft was too funny. I had a migraine and I was in no frame of mind to strike a conversation with anyone....and he in his american twang started off by saying...its haat...aint it. I pretended to ignore him and pretended to listen to my ipod just plugging in it - did not switch it on since i had a headache. He did not give up...he actually tapped me on my shoulder and still insisted on talking while i had to keep nodding. I am so happy such things happen to you too - though not about rickshaw driver getting 'live owl' and 'mad woman coming and slapping' but all the rest i cant identify with. Oh just remembered - on a other turbulent flight when i was trying not to throw up - the man in the front seat - almost squeezed his neck in between the seats and asked me - 'are you chinese'? Out of the blue. just like that. and he was not even drunk.

    By Blogger Reshma Anand, at 7:57 AM  

  • ha ha..nice one... i do the same vth samosas! but i don think thats weird...kit kat and icecreams...ya..sounds so!

    By Blogger J-O-S-H (My Bench !), at 1:17 PM  

  • hey ron coming to think bout it - we should consider ourselves lucky(ppl with the wierdo halo). not many can boast of situtaions like these can they? well the owl one was really great. its one in a million chance i'd say. 1st to see an owl then catch it alive n top of all-to be able to witness it.haha.i'd love to be in that position. me from coorg but neva saw an owl so close as u.
    but the mad slap.godd i had enough of mad ppl(no ofence to anyone)
    well reshma i had this waiter at a chinese restuarant ask me "r u frm malaysia?" goddd!!!

    By Blogger sonia, at 2:32 PM  

  • Mine -I always leave a bit of the chicken and eat the paratha :)
    I almost always stop in the middle of the road when I am crossing it whether to contemplate dying or whether to look at the view I don't know. People have had heart attacks just seeing it.I talk to myself; actually I have long complicated conversations with myself in my head just like you said except not aloud.
    and oh once a man asked me on the bus achcha tomar ki biye hoye geche. Class eleven, and he didn't seem drunk. Oh hoyni, amake biye korbe?amra circus jabo. what the... i ran for dear life,
    I absolutely adore you, I feel like we should form a sisterhood.

    By Blogger Dreamcatcher, at 3:51 AM  

  • while this kind of madness is hilarious and needs to be encouraged, no thanx for permanently putting me off babycorn. :-[

    By Blogger rainbeau_peep, at 3:27 AM  

  • @bishuda: oh my god!thats hilarious! i wonder how my dad would react if i had done something like that!!!!! :D

    @reshma: chinese? how annoying! you should have boxed him!! and welcome to the club honey! vague people keep wanting to make stupid conversation with me on flights, even when im pretending to be asleep. gah.

    @j-o-s-h: good to know i have company.

    @sonia:hehehe. u said it :D

    @dc:remind me NEVER EVER to cross any road with you. im always dependant on other people when it comes to crossing roads, n if my companion stops in the middle of all the traffic i shall just quietly have a heart atack and die.

    @rainbeau peep: i was going to say sorry about the babycorn, but then i realized that u described my mild eccentricity as madness. im very offended and hurted now. *sniff*. shall not apologise. hrrmph.

    By Blogger Ron, at 5:35 AM  

  • hey..its mighty candid to admit ur eccentricities...i guess little quirks are endearing to people close to the quirky one...but whats with people brushing? i had a flatmate who had this same aversion...does it have something to do with white bubbles? if so are bubble baths out of the equation as well??

    By Blogger Abhishek Chatterjee, at 1:56 AM  

  • @abshishek: you know, when i saw that you commented after sucha long time i was damn happy...till i got to the part about white bubbles and such disgusting things. yuck. its got everything to do with the way the bubbles froth out of ones mouth....eeeeewww!!! no thanks for bringing up this disgusting image :P

    By Blogger Ron, at 3:46 AM  

  • hello !!

    i'm sorry, there's no better way to say this... you are, really, wierd :P

    -4

    By Blogger 4WD, at 11:57 AM  

  • @4WD: you show up after ages to say this!? hrrrmph!! i dont like you anymore. my feelings are hurt :P

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:46 PM  

  • Hi ron

    This is my first time at a "blog". Just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion. Feeling lost in my new company as I am still settling down. Will get back to checking mails. Take care.

    By Anonymous Vishal, at 12:02 AM  

  • @vishal: ooooh!! thanks for visiting and commenting(though i did have to threaten and force :P )
    and thankooo for the congrats and all. im quite kicked about it. do visit again *looks hopeful*

    By Blogger Ron, at 12:12 AM  

  • :-D This is ROTFL stuff.. You sure are one weird person. My newly graduated psychiatrist friend will have a field day with you. :-D

    By Blogger A.J.Anto, at 1:09 PM  

  • Lol! that was a good read! And I have some idiosyncrasies too. Maybe they merit a post. For now, I can only think of my habit of removing malai from the top of my coffee! I can't stand it!

    By Blogger Rita, at 8:57 AM  

  • @a.j.anto: weird? me!? of course not!! eccentric is the word you are looking for...delightfully eccentric :P

    welcome to my blog.

    @rita: ooooohh i do that too. HATE that malai. see we are partners in weirdo-ness :D

    By Blogger Ron, at 2:17 AM  

  • holo ki? next post ki lekha hobe?

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 1:34 PM  

  • Again a good read...You are not really all that a weirdo!

    By Blogger Anuradha Harish, at 11:44 PM  

  • "I have spent the entire day writing one document after another, all centering around the theme of sensuality and indiviuality"

    none of my biz and u can choose to ignore this, but wow! what is that u do for a living? i also want ya...

    By Blogger cutting, at 2:12 AM  

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