Life's Like That

Monday, April 10, 2006

Look who's back.. :D

All right!! I am back. A big thank you to all those who left such sweet "undemanding" comments on my last post asking me to post soon...I am very touched with all the love and affection :P
I have been in Calcutta;sick;and working my sick and sorry arse off, trying to make my house inhabitable;in that order, during this brief period of absence. Since I have nothing else to blog about I shall elaborate on each of the above.
So I went to Calcutta to attend T's wedding. Unfortunately, I fell sick and was not able to make it for the actual wedding...in my defense, it was at an unearthly hour in the morning. I did manage to make it to the reception, and much fun it was. Through my antibiotic and fever induced daze, I saw T sitting beside S, looking every inch the pretty blushing bride. Cant quite describe what it was like to see her like that...all SD, RD and I could talk about was "God!!! thats T!! Remember her in Class VI with those two ponytails and skinny legs? She got married!!! God!!!"So unreal..although in a very happy way!! Major nostalgia trip happened right there and then. We were all most impressed with S, as RD kept saying, "Besh smart bol? Aar ki bhalo dekhte" in a very approving tone. The funny thing was T looked majorly South Indian with all the flowers in her hair and her nose pin and the (what i think was) South Indian silk sari, while S, the Tam Bram in question, looked ekdom Bangali in his dhuti panjabi. Interesting role reversal :) The food was yummmmmmmmy!! T, god bless whoever decided on the menu (Im guessing it wasnt you), I can't begin to tell you how long its been since I ate koraishutir kochuri and alur dum(it was yummmmmmmmy) and prawns and mishti doi and everything!! Needless to say, RD, SD and I shamelessly stuffed ourselves, to the extent that my plate looked spotlessly clean when T came out to tell us "lojja kore khaash na", and she actually thought I hadnt eaten and kept telling me to help myself (ki lojja...ki kore boli je already teen baar giye khabar niye eshechi). Oh and I also met AB and the Gamesmaster, nice to finally be able to put faces to the blogs, though we couldnt talk much.
The return trip from Cal was horrendous. Jet Airways has gone to the dogs. The steward dropped an entire tray of lemon juice and buttermilk on me...well, not on me per se, but near enough to drench me in that vile smelling liquid. And there was severe turbulence all the way from Cal to Bangalore and I was therefore left with no choice but to grip my seat handles and look anxious. Dont ask me the logic of this behaviour...its just what one HAS to do in that kind of a situation.
I got back to Bangalore last Tuesday, and since then I have almost been buried alive under tonnes work, dust, domestic issues like "medem, surf khatam; pochne ka kapda nahin hai" etc etc. Oh and the pigeons!! Goddddddddd! The PIGEONS!!! They are everywhere. They come perch on the balcony, they try their best to come in through the windows, they coo , they flap in one's face when one walks into the balcony and scares one half to death. And to top it all they shit. All over the place. I swear if i have to clean pigeon shit off the balcony one more time I will cry. I will just sit down and wail! I shoo them off my balcony and they go sit on the opposite one and give me these looks...these really evil challenging looks, as if to say "Oh yeah, you think you can get rid of us? Hah!! just you wait..."
Its becoming nastier and nastier. I have taken to flapping things at them randomly whenever I am at home. This morning I even caught myself muttering to them under my breath "Don't even think of shitting on my clean washed clothes. You creatures dont understand the concept of clean, look how you live, but one drop of shit on my clothes and you will regret it". And I know they are birds and all that, but I swear they all had this really challening looks in their eyes. I spent the weekend making large scarecrows out of newspapers and hanging them at regular intervals from the clothes lines. Though they havent been very helpful yet, Im hoping that thats because the pigeons havent yet registered their presence (its called bird brain for a reason you know). People please pray that my scarecrows succeed in scaring them away. Otherwise, I will be left with no option but to first kill one and hang its body from my balciony grille as a warning to the others (Sholay Gabbar Singh style) and if that too fails, buy an airgun and start shooting them all. ..*evil laughter*
I just realized that half this post is on pigeons. It also just occured to me that muttering threats at birds is not the kind of behaviour that charecterises sanity. They have succeeded in driving me nuts (maybe thats part of their evil master plan...drive the humans crazy and take over human land). I think I need to go and lie down on the sofa in the conference room. Please excuse me people. Bye bye for now.

23 Comments:

  • Talking to pigeons is very, very dangerous. Not for the pigeons, but it has been proved to have severely debilitating effects on human sanity. Tch tch. You poor thing. Coming on top of that bout of bird flu, this is really sad.

    Bless you, child *crosses herself*

    P.S. This is the kind of comment you richly deserve for going on and on about koraishutir kochuri, you bad person.

    By Blogger The Marauder's Map, at 4:00 AM  

  • Arn't scarecrows supposed to scare crows? How do you propose they work on Pigeons.Heh! Dont beat,dont beat.
    Ok, me too have the same issue. They actually lay eggs in the empty pots. We were pretty fascinated by the first egg we saw & let it be. The whole balcony was green & became non functional.And when the egg hatched,we had a lot of visiting pigeons to see the baby.Also the baby took ownership of the place till it flew off. It used to actually make hissing noises at us & let us know that we would get a beak puncture if we came close to it.Now, eggs are no more exciting & we as a family have come over our maternal instincts.

    By Blogger Seema, at 4:33 AM  

  • echo mm- and not only koraushutir kochuri, but prawns too. gah. they will create a special circle in hell called the hell of pigeonshit for you.

    By Blogger the still dancer, at 8:16 AM  

  • We used to buy catapults from nearby 'mela', steal chalks from classrooms and aim at pegeons when we lived in hostel. It worked quite well. Another time a pigeon died when it collided with a ceiling fan in our house. It was really horrible. So don't try to kill any. :)

    By Blogger Kele Panchu, at 4:46 PM  

  • hehehe!
    I cant tell u how many harrassing times we'v had with pigeons when I was in bangalore! and they for soem reason have a knack of choosing the whitest of them all!!!
    And of course welcome to the grind of the maid management!..haha:-)
    p.s:- Hope your feeling better now!

    By Blogger Ekta, at 6:24 PM  

  • @marauder's map and arka: chee!! ekto hingshute kano tomra? onner anonde khushi hote shekho, tobei na boro manush hote paarbe!!

    @seema: maternal feelings towards a PIGEON!!!!!!!!!???? thank god you guys overcame that.

    @panchuda: na na i wont kill inside my house. will shoot them while they are sitting on opposite balcony ;P

    @ekta: my maid is the most important person in my life. i have never waited for anyone as eagerly and anxiously as i do for her.

    By Blogger Ron, at 1:29 AM  

  • welcome back...good on u for the food and all...how about some pigeon meat at your wedding?? ive heard they dont taste to bad...lol.

    By Blogger Abhishek Chatterjee, at 7:02 AM  

  • hey Ron good to see u back n god u did temp me with the mention of all that food. mm.
    pigeons can be a pain... not to mention where.
    i've heard hanging a plastic bag on ur balcony will actually scare them away.i.e when it sways they think u r shooing them away i guess n it also makes a noise(the bag).
    they do that for birds on paddy fields. no harm in trying is there?
    n abhishek's idea is not too bad. except that the taste entierely depends on the eater.
    all the best with hunting n refrigerating them for ur wedding :-)

    By Blogger sonia, at 8:12 AM  

  • Yeaaah Ron returns. And I thought i was the only one batty about pigeons - one morning I awoke to the sound of pigeons at my window and supposedly cooing. In a sleepy state I thought it was some thief hiding behind my window. :P In my defence I was half asleep.

    By Blogger Dreamcatcher, at 9:06 AM  

  • eeeHaaw! I am back too. And bird killing is bad karma ron.

    By Anonymous bijoyyy, at 11:24 PM  

  • @abhishek: ill tell you what, ill courier the pigeon meat over to you, so that you can serve that at YOUR wedding. Hows that for an idea!? ehehahahaha.

    @sonia: thats a wonderful idea. i shall tie black plastic bags all over my balcony as soon as i get home.alternate them with the scarecrows. god bless you.

    @dc: you know, someone else might have laughed at you, but i wont!! i know how annoying and aggravating those birds are. i dont blame you one bit for thinking it was a theif. one actually came and pecked on my window and i was terrified imagining robbers, mice and what not!!!!!

    @bijoy:welllllllcooommmmeee!!! and bad karma doe snto bother me right now...pigeon shit does!! gragrh!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 11:39 PM  

  • well,
    honestly its such a women thingie!
    I mean I wld'nt care too much if there is pigeon shit on a washed shirt..just pit it under the tap clean it and wear it!...
    Men are like this only!:-)

    By Blogger Anand, at 1:12 AM  

  • Beware of the pigeon's shit.They can be pretty devastating as this family in Santiago found out.

    By Blogger Bishu, at 2:15 AM  

  • i know how frustrating a dirty space can get but at the risk of laughing at your frustration: lol...

    some houses put up this DIY web like contraption of the thinnest wires, whch dsnt keep out the view (if u have one that is) or light, but does prevent unwanted avian friends from dropping in. people who have tried it claim better results than plastic packets, scare crows, et al...

    and if you are adventurous enough, maybe coloured thin elcetricity wire (with no connection, obviously)could create some nice design type thing...

    like proverbial male, have tried to give solution to stated problem...

    will end b4 i stereotype myself any further...

    ps: nice to have you back...

    By Blogger cutting, at 2:54 AM  

  • Umm... one thing about pigeons, if you haven't realised already -- they shit like there's no tomorrow. No other common urban bird is quite so offensive in this regard. And since there's that homing instinct thing they have going, it's rather difficult, if not downright impossible, to make them go elsewhere.

    So it's perfectly ok to cuss them.

    By Blogger Sue, at 3:55 AM  

  • read this talesetc.com/jfaba164pigeon.htm just everybody around the world seems to be tiered of the pigeon menace. try keeping a real cruel eagle at home so he can handle the poopsters :-)

    By Blogger sonia, at 12:38 PM  

  • sweet "undemanding" comments on my last post asking me to post soon...

    Yes yes, we are very pleased to be mentioned as such, and on the post's very first line, no less! *smiles dazzlingly*

    And you $%???@ you! You were in Cal for a wedding and you didn't meet us???

    Ki bolbo, clearly I'm not as well loved as I thought. Maane, ami ekebaare heart-broken...(you DESERVE them pigeons, you DO :P)

    By Blogger Rimi, at 1:23 PM  

  • pigeon shit bhalo. guano daam ekhon besh chara.

    pigeon pie aaro bhalo...

    By Blogger hutumthumo, at 4:16 PM  

  • ron ron!
    We'r comign to blore first week may!!!
    U think we shld catch up!!????--what say?

    By Blogger Ekta, at 9:09 PM  

  • Great to see you back. Subho Nababorsho! :D

    By Blogger Rita, at 11:41 AM  

  • @anand: uffff!!! men i tell you!! disgusting! rahul seems to find the whole piegon situation very funny and insists to laughing it off!! gah!

    @bishu: welcome welcome!! and that story was extremely scary! thank goodness i dont have a tin roof, but i am still worried :(

    @cutting: wires huh!? interesting. i might have to resort to stuff like that.
    PS: what IS with men and offering solutions?

    @sue: oh my goodness!! its the homing instict is it? good god!! ill never be rid of them birds!!!! *flaps arms tragically and looks mournful*

    @sonia: yesssssss!!! or maybe a ferocious cat!!

    @rimi: i was siiiiiiiiiicccckkkkkk *woebegone look* pliss dont be mad!! plis pliss. i vill be coming to cal again sometime in august, for a longer time. will DEFINITELY meet up then.

    @hutumthumo: hehe. pigeon mere pathiye debo naaki? pigeon pie kore kheye neben?

    @ekta: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pliss to be giving me your email id. I shall mail my mobile number to you. Gimme a call and we shall meet!!

    @rita: shubho noboborsho to you and your family too :)

    By Blogger Ron, at 10:39 PM  

  • my dear child, are u ok? bangalore isn't the safest place to be at right now, is it?

    By Blogger rainbeau_peep, at 8:57 AM  

  • @rainbeau peep:how sweeeet of u to ask. ya i am fine. actually there wasnt much tension if u didnt go out. and even then it was just one part of the city that was affected. elsewhere it was calm and BORING!!!!!!!! long post coming up on that.

    By Blogger Ron, at 1:57 AM  

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