Life's Like That

Monday, February 06, 2006

People who are married!

Disclaimer: Erm...married people who read this blog, please dont take this post too seriously. It was meant to be a joke. Really.
A lot of things have happened since my last post. I have been to Chennai and attended a TamMallu wedding. I have lost my temper thoroughly with Rahul (and regardless of what he has to say, I still maintain that he deserved it!). I have dropped my cell down the elevator shaft, then had major panic attack, and felt bereaved till elevator mechanics arrived and rescued it. ( Yes I am extremely attached to my cell phone, its like an extension of my hand). But most importantly, I have been subjected to a conversation that involved a group of married women and me( or should it be I?). I am much annoyed after this conversation (I actually walked away in a a huff). But before I get into the details, just a little matter of censorship:
  • Ma, Baba ( and any other family members who might be lurking around) go away right now. This post is not meant for you. Reading this post shall lead to a lot of unnecessary questions which I dont want to answer. No reason really...but I just don't feel like answering any questions.
  • Weird anonymous people who leave cheap stupid comments, as always I will not stop you from commenting by disabling anonymous comments. I hope you will have the sense not to leave signs of your stupidity on my blog.
  • Other anonymous people who leave sensible decent comments, please by all means go ahead and comment. No issues with you guys.

Hah!! Now that thats out of my system. So MR, SR, MM and I were sitting and talking about life in general. The conversation soon turned to men and dealing with men and such like. (Please note, I was the only unmarried female in the group). We laughed and exchanged tales of masculine stupidity and related problems etc. After a point, the conversation turned a little risque. A couple of dirty jokes were cracked. It soon showed signs of turning to personal experiences. And then...then SR looks at me, giggles and says " Hey Ron, you shouldnt be here. You are too young."

TOO YOUNG!? Me!? Im 26!! She is 29!! How, pray, does that make me "too young"? To which she replied amidst much giggling " You are not married...heehee..this kind of conversation is just not suitable for you". I seriously thought she was joking, till MR chipped in saying "Yeah and anyways I guess only married women will understand what we are talking about", and I realized that all of them were in fact more or less serious. Thats when I walked off in a bit of a huff!!

The worst thing it, this is not the first time this kind of a thing has happened. Married women seem to belong to some kind of an exclusive club, wherein only other married women can understand their lives, their anecdotes and appreciate the endless boring tales of maids and recipes!! Any signs of boredom on ones part are dismissed with "oh you are not married, you will not understand". Gah!!!

Why do I need to be a married woman to understand recipes? or maidservant problems? or sexual anecdotes? Im not exactly an underage little girl am I?? Im 26 for gods sake!! How do these people have the temerity to assume that in this day and age Im a innocent little babe in the woods who has been protected from the world, never cooked a meal or ever had a single domestic crisis!? . Why do I need to be married to just understand and sympathise with someones domestic problems? Or suggest easy recipes? Or laugh at their sex stories?Or understand how annoying men are when they refuse to let go the remote? Its not even a question of whether or not I have actually done all those things. Correct me if Im wrong, but arent all of these just a matter of a little bit of sympathy, and a little bit of sense of humour? (It is a different matter altogether that I get bored to death when people go on and on and on discussing how their washing machine is not working and how their husbands demand hot rotis for dinner). How dare these women assume!?

As a child, everyone around you keeps telling you "You will understand this when you grow up. You are too young now." It used to irritate the hell out of me. Looks like things just never change. You will always be to young or too inexperienced!!

On the other hand, men who are married seem to only want to talk about how marriage is a terrible thing and try their best to convince you that you should never get married. When they are not talking about the sex or the hot babe in the next office i.e. The more they get the more obssessed they seem to be!

Marriage is not a good idea I think. It turns perfectly sensible men and women into absolute idiots. There should be a married people's club, where they go and discuss things that only married people will understand and stay away from sensible unmarried people like myself. I dont think Ill get married! Can you imagine me giggling like a demented hyena and telling some poor young unmarried girl "You are not married, you will just not get this..heehee"!! Eeeek!! what an absolutely horrible thought!! No! I must convince Rahul and concerned family members that a prolonged courtship ( cannot for the life of me think of a less Victorian word) with each one living in separte houses, but spending a lot of time together, is the best way! The only way in fact to remain sensible and appreciate other people's maturity.

PS: Even as I write this, a married woman in the office has sent the following jokes via email to all in the officel:

Hi Guys,

Only a married woman can identify with these, but have fun nevertheless...


WOMEN'S REVENGE:"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him... legally."

WIFE VS. HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S: A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Aaaaaaarrrgghhh!!See what I mean!? Its like a frigging club or something!!!! Why do I have to be married to find these jokes funny!!?? Why!? Why!? Why!?

18 Comments:

  • It's not just numerical age, Ron. After marriage women (not men) get experience worth 100 years. :)
    Of course you can enjoy those jokes, but there is hidden agony among those jokes. This can be felt by married women only, so they may enjoy more. I'm not defending them, I'm just trying to find a logical explanation.

    'Ki jatona bish e,
    Bujhibe se kise?
    Aashibishe kabhu
    Dongsheni jaare?"

    Peace!
    :))

    By Blogger Kele Panchu, at 10:45 PM  

  • This is a post where I would not leave any comment in normal circumstances; it does not deserve a comment. But I have absolutely nothing to do and that stupid greatbong has stopped being funny. So I will do it anyway.

    Point number one, this could be personal, if so, delete this comment. I did not understand why your parents should not read this blog. It seemed quite innocuous to me. I am assuming that the reason is that you implicitly suggested in this blog that you had premarital sex. And now I made that explicit! But you made that implicit suggestion before in your previous blogs, as far as I can remember.

    Point number two, I also heard that married people behave like that. But fortunately I never met any such specimen and I believe I am quite a gregarious man. All my married friends (I can thing of at least 20 of them), men and women, behave quite normally after marriage, albeit busy. So I think it is possible to live a social life without getting annoyed by those boring married people. The best thing to do is to avoid wedding parties (or parties in general). If you absolutely have to attend, take some reading material or portable video games with you. That will shield you from the crowd.

    Point number three, I will wait to see your blogs three years after your marriage and see how they change ;)

    By Blogger subhendu, at 12:37 AM  

  • Ron it's not married women really. It's something people tend to do whenever they get a chance to be clanish. I've always heard this "tui bujhbi na" thing since people always thought I was younger than I actually was and used to dismiss me from any adult conversation. I know what you are saying. And trust me, I never do that to anyone. What you are talking about is a general group/ clanish social behavior that people practice and do not realize how irritating it may be to the ones who get left out.
    But now that you have that out of your system.....I'm sure you can take it in your stride.

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 6:48 AM  

  • hi.....

    hmmm pretty interesting..... but imagine the plight of a married woman who has the same questions that u do!!!! well i m one lol....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:53 AM  

  • Ron, just chill, okay? I guess you are thinking too much, aren't you!
    don't take this so seriously :D

    By Blogger Rita, at 9:39 AM  

  • you know, the only person who's ever tried this "tui ekhon eshob ki bujhbi?" line on me is my cousin, who at 27 and four months of marriage, didn't know what 'safe periods' were. and she's like, a high-flying techie and all, too. hah!

    some people, i tell you! like M says, it's a clannish mentality.

    By Blogger Rimi, at 9:44 AM  

  • @panchuda: hmmm..hidden agony huh? interesting thought ;)

    @Subendhu:Point number one, I didnt want my parents to read this post because i was anticipating comments like this. Didnt quite work now did it? :)
    Point number two, you are lucky you havent come across this irritating mentality, and thank you for your tips.
    Point number three, most of my posts are quite frivolous and inconsequential, and definitely do not deserve comments. would recommend you spend your time reading other deserving blogs...shudhu shudhu aamr post pore time noshto korar kono maanei hoye na. So what if greatbong is not writing anything worthy of your time and comment..look around, Im sure you will find something better and worthier :)

    @m (tread softly upon): You are soooo right!! I know many people who have been married for donkeys years and very very cool indeed. But I spent sooo much time this weekend with the other variety that it just drove me nuts. Thats when a blog comes in handy doesnt it? Perfect space for letting it all out :)

    @anonymous:Like I told M, thank goodness there are nice sensible people like you :).

    @rita: yeah i was overreacting. spent the ENTIRE weekend with those annoying creatures saying
    " you wont understand, you are too young" to everything....can you blame me really? *pathetic look*. its all over now...out of my system. life is good .

    @rimi: shotti! these women are really too much arent they!? Did you set your cousin right? How did she react then? :D

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:11 PM  

  • Glad that's out of your system :D
    Maybe someone needs to start a reverse system on these people, start saying things like, oh but you wouldn't understand, you're *married*.

    By Blogger babelfish, at 10:04 PM  

  • @babelfish: that is a very good idea!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 3:09 AM  

  • you seem to have this holier than thou image to urself. wake up sweetheart. u will b the first to advocate "no-marriage" after u do the same. n u will have an extra-marital affair once u marry. sooner than later.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:32 AM  

  • @anonymous: i was pretty determined not to reply to moronic anonymous comments, but you "sweetheart" are just toooo hilariously dumb !! are you even capable of reading and understanding the written word properly?your comment seems to imply otherwise!

    By Blogger Ron, at 3:59 AM  

  • Hey ron,
    babe trust me...as long as ur a women...u will understand it all..u dont hav to be married to understand men!

    pt is u NEVER understand them!...so chill...and enjoy being out of the "exclusive married club"...once in it...u can never get out..hah!

    By Blogger Ekta, at 5:58 AM  

  • Nope, not married, and wish to stay that way! As such, will probably be excluded from such stuff even when I am 60.Tragic, isn't it?:D

    By Blogger good morning, midnight, at 10:50 AM  

  • @ekta: heh!! that is so true.

    @gmm: extremely tragic :P

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:00 PM  

  • Ron,
    I totally understand where you are coming from, but I guess its just a matter of which "couples" you hang out with - honestly I don't think I identify with even one of the "married people statements/jokes" - that you wrote about ... I guess my wife wouldn't either!
    married or not I wouldn't identify with them - so don't worry - I highly doubt that you would turn to these ppl when in need of help! It's not you - its them! and God keep them away from me - I wouldn't stop at blogging about it!
    -Venky.

    By Blogger Venky, at 11:18 PM  

  • Well, if it helps, I got this fwd too minus the little note in the beginnng though!

    By Blogger Accidental Fame Junkie, at 2:16 AM  

  • @venky: hmmm. maybe its just the company i keep :) and thanks for linking to my rang de basanti post. also, welcome!!

    @afj: lucky you :P

    By Blogger Ron, at 3:31 AM  

  • Can I have a post on my site in your blog ?

    Pls pls pls :)

    Farid

    By Anonymous Farid, at 8:25 PM  

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