Life's Like That

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Aaaaarghhhhhh!!!

The more I try to tell myself that I should not be territorial and I should not judge people based on which city they live in, the more difficult those people make it for me to be positive in my outlook!!!

Although it would be wrong on my part to say that of people in general, considering that most of my bad experiences with people from this particular city has been restricted to people in the PR field!! So without rambling on too much let me just say this: PR people from Delhi have got to be the world's most idiotic, dumb, ridiculous, unnecessarily aggressive, lazy, think they are very smart but are actually the biggest donkeys, annoyingly overfriendly and familiar creatures( in Bengali we call it gaye pora) thatI have ever had the misfortune of interacting with. I do not blame any Delhi based journalist for despising PR creatures such as these...no indeed!! In fact I totally sympathise with them...poor things! To have to put up with these things all the time!!!

To prove my case, here are snippets from some amazing conversations Ive had in the recent past:

Delhi Colleague( in typical Delhi accent): Hallo, Ronita. Aacha sun yaar (hello...what yaar and what sun...we have never met or spoken earlier, how did I suddenly become your yaar and who gave you the right to address me as tu????) I need some pictures of Pooja Bedi at that event yaar (again..YAAR!!!??) against some nice backdrop!! Please bhej de na.

Me: (in slightly cold formal tones): All right Ill send you the CD.

DC: Thanks yaar.

1 day later

DC: Aacha sun Ronnie(RONNIE!!!???? GRRRRRR). Can you send me hard copies of the pictures you sent me?? Please...very urgent, I need it immediately.

Me (very hasseled and stressed out and caught up in other work): How can I send you hard copies urgently? I will need to courier them and you will get them only tomorrow. And also why on earth can't you print the photographs from the CD in Delhi itself? Saves time no?

DC ( verrry condescending tones): Arre baba, to print pictures we need to have the negatives na. How can we print without negatives?

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In other words, stunned silence for two minutes.

Me: Do upgrade yourselves from the Stone Age. You can print the damn things from the CD. Directly!!No need for negatives. Really!

DC: Aacha? Has off line conversation with someone else verifying whatever I just said.Sarcasm is totally lost on her. Haan theek hai. Then please send us 2 copies of the CD. ASAP.

Me: ( thoroughly stressed thinking about how this brainless person manages to survive...doesnt one need brains to live!?) : My dear girl!! You can make an umpteen number of copies from the CD I sent you. There is no logic in making copies of CD's here and sending them by courier to you!!

DC: Oh aacha aacha.. Ill get back to you. But in the meantime just make the copies anyways na!

!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gawd!!

Conversation 2:

Delhi Colleague 2 at 8.30 in the evening on a horribly stressful workday: Ronita 2 months back we had an event in Bangalore, there were some 30 odd clips, you need to source all the original papers and send me the copies by tomorrow.

Me: (WHAT THE F***): Its not possible. Which vendor will have newspapers 2 months old and how do you expect us to source papers at this time of the night and put them in the courier so that they reach you tomorrow?

DC2: See all that is not my headache. I have to make a report to the worldwide head of XYZ client on how PR effort has pushed sales and made an impact (yeah right!!!!!). I dont have time to deal with your bureaucratic red tapism ( Huh!!?? I think he just learnt the term and is keen to use it anywhere anyhow..only explaination I can think of) right now, so please do what Im telling you or Ill have to escalate the matter (again, I think he just learnt the term)

Me:( dynamite in head on slow burn mode, but approaching danger mark rapidly) And you were waiting for two months after the event to tell me to source newspapers to add a touch of excitement to my life were you!? If the bloody presentation is tomorrow why the hell couldnt you have told me about this shit at least yesterday if not at the time of the event?

DC2: Look I dont have time for this shit!! Just do what Im asking you to do, or I will really have to escalate matters. And I also need full translations of all Kannada clips on XYZ in the last 2 months, 1st thing tomorrow morning.

Me: (Thats it!!! Dynamite explosion in head): Full translations of every damn clip is sent to you as soon as it appears!! Kindly read your mails( you bloody moron!! Also, learn some manners, lose the attitude and learn to speak proper unaccented English while you are at it!!!). As for escalating issues, I am dying to escalate this issue believe me. So you escalate it at your end and Ill escalate it at mine. And dont call me with such ridiculous requests at such short notice. ( I bang down the phone).

After everything and after much fighting and escalating of issues DC2 sent 3 mails demanding translations, something which has been sent to him thrice in the past and twice after that. Maybe he is blind...or incapable of reading...poor man!!

While I write this post, this senior man from Delhi has just arrived. I can hear every syllable he is uttering on his cell while walking up and down in the corridor outside. There is this boy I know, from my old PR agency's Delhi office who insists on calling me every second night at around 12.30 and saying "Aachaaaaa... phir...aur batao.." ( complete with irritaing accent). I have told him he is keeping me from much needed rest. I have told him not to call me unless he has something definite to say and definitely not to call me so late. I have hung up on him. I have not answered his calls. Nothing works. He calls every second day and says the exact same thing!!! LOUDLY.

There is also my colleague in Bangalore who recently moved here from Delhi. She has the audacity to sit in South India and say " yaar yeh South Indians bhi na!! Horrible food.Do you get North Indian food here? Or just idli dosa!?" And we blame foreigners for being ill informed and having stereotyped notions about India!! She talks money at the drop of a hat. Another very annoying Delhi trait..."oh this is the most expensive variety of chooda you can find", "this suit cost so and so...", "my husband is earning so and so"!!! Donno how we all manage to grit our teeth and smile and not slap her silly face.

My client, another Delhi-ite...although originally from the field of advertsing and not PR, is probably the dumbest human being I have ever met. She wants us to provide benchmarks for every activity, by which she means not only give her a list of target publications but also indicate the number of column centimetres we will get in each of them. Something that not just us, but no PR agency will be able to do as editorial content depends on so many factors. My boss, with 15 years experience in the industry has explained all of it to her. Also told her that the lack of benchmarks and related problems of measuring PR effectivemess is the biggest problem that the PR industry is faced with. She spent 2 hours pateintly explaining all this to this dumb creature, who nodded and said I see. Then called up the next day and asked us to provide her with minimum cc's we would get in every target publication. How? How people? How doI tell her to go away and try to grow a brain!!!!????

I have never been to Delhi. I have several friends in Delhi who work for news channels/ tech firms/ newspapers etc. Rahuls cousin from Delhi is a very sweet boy, I like him very much indeed.None of these people are this dumb. Or this loud or this aggravating or this pushy!!! They are nice and decent and likeable. I must therefore conclude that all the assinine creatures of Delhi join PR agencies and annoy people in other offices!! My blood pressure is soaring from having to deal with these people. Dono't know how much more I can take. GRR.

26 Comments:

  • hehe..the conversations are really funny desite being highly frustrating, i'm sure! i don't think its fair to get territorial though. delhi-ites do tend to be more ostentatious though, i agree...

    By Blogger Abhishek Chatterjee, at 5:15 AM  

  • i think you need to move to delhi and let it sloooowwwwwly grow on you. :-)

    By Anonymous t, at 10:50 AM  

  • Wow, that was real scary(and funny :p). I too had a frustrating experience with a PR firm, but a Bangalore based one (I think it was called Text 10 or something). As a rookie engineer I was ecstatic when my boss told me to attend a meeting with the PR lady and our marketing guys about our new product(great responsibility I thought), only after the meeting did I understood why I was chosen(the image of a sacrificial lamb came across my mind) and why marketing people are so hated :(
    It did not end there I had to endure phone calls and emails from PR people who did not have a clue about the technology for about a month. It took me 2 weeks of correspondence just to explain what a network router does :(

    By Blogger Anil, at 3:05 PM  

  • @abhishek: i try so hard to think of all the nice people from delhi and not be territorial. i even begin to think warmly of them, then someone calls and conversations like these ensue and im left feeling murderous!! but im still trying you know.

    @t: my dear girl!!! you must be mad!! im never ever moving to delhi. EVER!!! in fact if you want my advice you and S also run far far away from that city as soon as possible...before you turn into one of them.

    @anil: thats surprising because text 100 is a specialised tech firm and their expertise in tech PR is supossedly quite unparalleled.

    but then, sometimes you techies dont understand that marketing guys are just that...marketing guys, they dont have a tech background etc and things that seem ridiculously simple to you, seem totally incomprehensible to them and require some patient explaination over a period of time. Probably if i started explaining PR and media or even advertising to you, it would take time for you to understand what i was saying :) your PR agency im sure has their own side of the story to tell!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 8:58 PM  

  • I don't know about Delhi but yeah dumb people like that, I have met and oh yeah they are usually at the other end and are called Clients!! The very word sends shivers up my spine! Unrealistic deadlines are one point they use to constantly irritate us!

    By Blogger Accidental Fame Junkie, at 4:03 AM  

  • oh, i so totally identify with you on this. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate these pr chicks who call up and start speaking to you with their yaar-s and tu-s. And this, almost after three years in this city...P

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:37 AM  

  • I totally understand your being mad. I am assuming you don't have any Delhite PR people reading your blog :)))

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 7:06 AM  

  • oh dear! i wish you hadn't brought this up. now i'm SO going to force you into listening to MY delhi story.
    so i was at this small party at a family friend's place (who stays, you guessed it, in del), and smiling glassily at people i'm being introduced to, when this OTHER woman (a guest) walks up to the hostess and says loudly "Tere ghaar mein bus ek hi tv hai?". i nearly dropped my drink. nobody else battered an eyelid.

    oh well.

    but i want to have ONE wonderful trip of the city, which will be just food, food and food, interspersed with shopping, shopping, shoping at all the chorbazaars! what can i get you, ronnie my girl? ;D

    By Blogger Rimi, at 10:29 AM  

  • Wow. You actually said all that to this delhi person? Didnt you, a few posts ago, say you couldn't say no and couldn't get into office fights?? :)

    rimi : Come on. I live in a house that has just two struggling (ok, not so struggling) print reporters, and even we have two tv's here. Delhi does that to you.. makes you want more tvs.

    By Blogger 4WD, at 12:20 PM  

  • lol. & i thot sw had the worst crowd ... :)

    By Blogger Prerona, at 1:04 PM  

  • @afj: CLIENTS!!! you said it man!!!Sooooooo annnoying and dumb they are!!

    @anon: that must be a trait restricted to delhi, coz im in PR, and i have worked in bangalore and mumbai and i have never dreamed of addressing people as tu and getting overfriendly; neither have i seen other PR people in either mumbai or bangalore do that.

    @m: i dont think any pr creatures from delhi read my blog, and if they do...well..they need some honest feedback too don't they ;)

    @rimi: she ACTUALLY said that!!!??? GAWD!!!!!!!

    ive never been to delhi, and honestly right now i dont think i ever want to go there either, but yeah ive heard sooo much about the food and the shopping...

    and what is with the ronnie young lady!!?? the name is ron...just stick to that!! grrr!!

    @4wd: im learning my dear! the trick is to catch me at a time when im upto my eyes in work and completely stressed out and talk nonsense to me...thats when my nasty assertive side shows up in all its splendour :)

    and for goodness sakes you dont start about how many tv's you have and how many cars you drive and how many designer clothes you buy in a month and all the rest of that dilli nonsense!!

    @prerona: welcome back :)

    and while i tend to agree about the sw, i must regretfully accept that the PR industry too is full of all sorts of nonsense people...and most of them seemt o be in delhi!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:23 PM  

  • Ron : I'm a journalist. I can't afford anything designer... levi's is as designer as i get :)

    Cars, well, just one, but come on, i have to talk about that... my blog is based on that. And i was in love with it a long before i moved to delhi.

    See you don't have to be from delhi to be a show-off.

    By Blogger 4WD, at 9:30 PM  

  • Ron!!

    Super hilarious post! Can imagine the frustration!! Have undergone similar traumas as well! But...this too shall pass!

    Have fun!

    Anand
    p.s. don't send them anything! and as U2 has said "Don't let the %$@!@!@* run you down!"

    By Blogger Anand, at 10:36 PM  

  • @4wd: good heavens child!! you were just made for delhi werent you!? hehe!

    @anand: hilarious!? yeah i guess on hindsight, but while it was happening i wanted to take the first flight to delhi and just smack their silly faces, believe me!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 12:24 AM  

  • May be you should try going to Delhi sometime... just a visit.

    The food's definitely worth it; don't know though of the shopping.

    But have gathered some extremely lovable friends there over the years... may be you will too?

    By Blogger Deep, at 5:38 AM  

  • @deep: i dont want to go there really. and i do have good friends from that city...although come to think of it, they were all imports..as in they moved to delhi much later in life!! oh i dono..maybe im overreacting and generalising too much...but its sooooo very frustrating to deal with these people :(

    By Blogger Ron, at 10:31 PM  

  • Ahh, the affluence of Delhi people! Two tvs and more? No wonder they are dumb sometimes, tv will do that to you:D I loved the way you wrote the conversations...I could almost see these people.

    By Blogger good morning, midnight, at 12:08 PM  

  • @gmm: ahahahahahaha..hadnt quite thought of it that way! how right you are :D

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:45 PM  

  • Hey ron!..
    this is abso hilarious post and trust me I have more or less the same experiences of Dahlites!...and well guess on the lighter side...they do provide humor in life...so enjoy while it lasts!;-)

    By Blogger Ekta, at 9:22 PM  

  • @ekta: is it delhi ites in general? or just people in teh agencies i have worked with? must be a general trend if so many people have had similar experiences!! gawd!! they are really awful...but u r right..one needs this entertainment also! hehe!

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:12 PM  

  • Dont you have to be hot to be in PR? in Delhi, If youre too busy being a hot chick in high school, there is not much that you can do afterwards, when you end up in a second tier DU college. (Mind you, there is a difference between being a hot, and being a professional hot chick). So you end up in PR. Being a pain to your co-workers.
    I would like to add that as a dyed in the wool delhi boy, nothing gets be going like Delhi bashing. Thats when people say "All 'northies' are tools". That sucks.
    THanks for steering clear of that.

    By Blogger Anonymeena, at 8:51 AM  

  • @anonymeena: your insights into the nuances of my profession are fascinating :). No PR does not equal dumb and "being a pain to your co workers" (personally, i think being a client does), I think being in PR in Delhi equals dumb and painful...I speak from long experience :)

    welcome to my blog btw.

    By Blogger Ron, at 8:58 PM  

  • so did u make copies of the cd????

    By Blogger dwaipayan, at 1:03 AM  

  • Village Sister... since we know the person in common,I can imagine ur plight as I have gone thru the same quite a few times, and thinking of it that was a time, I was just a rookie... no guts to hit back

    By Anonymous sayan, at 2:39 AM  

  • @dwaipayan:hello and welcome. and no i most certainly did not make copies of the cd. delhi colleague didnt follow up after that so i assume she figured out how to make copies of the cd herself!!

    @sayan: village sister?? eta ektu literal translation er overdose hoye gelo na? and yeah AN or delhi colleague 2 is really such a painful little man isnt he? im so glad im encountering him at this stage, in my first job i am sure he would have trampled all over me.

    By Blogger Ron, at 4:31 AM  

  • Hi there,
    I am in Delhi,from Gujarat and I can emphatize with you , the people here.. aren't people they dumb than donkeys and consider themselves smarter than God!Though city as such is not bad but I just can not stand the people around.Fool fooler foolest.. hope u got the point anyways.
    Forgive them,coza they would never know what on earth sanity is...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:47 AM  

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