Life's Like That

Monday, November 21, 2005

Across the road into the madness..

How do people manage to cross roads in this city? How? How?
Im terrible at crossing roads. I get flustered and scared to death by automobiles bigger than a Maruti 800. I once grabbed this man next to me and dragged him across Park Street...all because I got very scared by this large bus driven by a homicidal maniac which was bearing down on me. Don't ask me why I did it, I think the idea of holding someone's hand while crossing was vaguely comforting. If I remember correctly, once I reached the other side I looked highly indignant and said "Eki!! I don't know you" and proceeded to walk off in a huff with him gaping after me. (Wish I could apologise to him, poor thing). When in Hyderabad I used to stand helplessly on Abids main road till one of my nicer classmates held my hand and took me across (Hyderabad has to have the worst drivers ever!! They seem to seriously think that the red light is a signal for them to start moving).
Anyways, the point is that crossing roads is something I'm unutterably inefficient at. I mostly get about town by waiting for the light to change to red and cars to stop moving ...yes I take forever to cross roads. But now, half the roads in Bangalore seem to have been changed into one ways and the traffic just NEVER stops. There is no traffic light on these roads and vehicles keep coming at full speed. Don't believe me? Try Richmond Road (any point after Vellara Junction before the flyover), try Cunningham road, try even two way roads like Airport Road and Ulsoor Road Cross and tell me if you were able to cross without being afraid of being run over. if you are able to achieve this then you are truly worthy of my admiration, respect, awe..etc etc...can't think of any more words right now, but you get the picture right?
I still have some very kind friends who hold my hand and take me across (or in R's case, hold the back of my neck in a vice like grip and shove me across..jaake bole gheti dhore dhakka...extremely rude btw), but I live on Richmond Road and work on Cunningham Road so situations often require me to attempt a solo crossing...which is very stressful. Ei toh, just half an hour back I almost got run over by a tempo traveller. . I survived by yelping a lot and scurrying across in a moment of blind panic. Tempo traveller swerved, cars screeched to a halt and auto drivers of varying sizes and shapes swore vehemently at me :-( no exaggerations. Really.
I can go on and on and on about traffic and roads and how dangerous it all is, but I think I should go home now. Which means that I have to cross Cunningham Road again!! How people!! How do you all manage to achieve this task so effortlessly? Please please share your secrets! :-(

17 Comments:

  • Its all in the mind. Actually the roads here in bangalore can be compared to the matrix world. You have to feel the flow of traffic in your system in order to know where and when to put your first foot. Then its upto your instincts to negotiate the traffic without doubting your judgment. Its not timing or luck it all in being the ONE at that moment and even an oracle's prophecy will work in your favour because its after all the matrix world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

    By Anonymous rahul, at 5:26 AM  

  • You know you're enormously funny -unintentionally of course.
    I am myself so bad at crossing roads that people have called me a menace to traffic.
    after a while when i get tired i just cross anyhow..iam terrible at it.
    i once did an extremely stupid thing - couldnt cross the Park Street crossing and this very kind elderly gentleman actually held my hand and helped me cross. very emabarassing.

    By Blogger Dreamcatcher, at 7:34 AM  

  • funny one. Reminded me of when I was young and my dad would hold my hand and we would cross Park street on the count of three. I would have to run to keep up with his strides but gave me a real sense of security.

    By Blogger M (tread softly upon), at 7:50 AM  

  • @rahul: oh keep quiet. you and your vague fundas.matrix i believe!! and do stop pushing me across the road by the back of my neck..most ill mannered it is.

    @dreamcatcher: siiiigh...thats the story of my life...but am soo glad u understand my trauma. and be grateful for that nice old man...such people are blessings for people like us.

    @m : yeah somehow the thought that someone is holding your hand is soo comforting isnt it? u knw, i make it a point to ensure that whoever im with is on the side of the oncoming traffic...little nasty but then we are talking survival here!!

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:48 PM  

  • Guess what, I was reading your blog when you commented on mine!
    About Bangalore, man don't ask. When I used to stay there, I used to think I would not be able to leave the place for the world. Now when I go I can't wait to get out. Thankfully the Cantonement area of Frazer Town, Benson Town, Cook Town, Hutchins road is still not that bad. Last time when I went there, I wanted to visit a place where I used to play as a kid...near Promonade road. Guess what, someone had constructed an engineering college on my playground. Choicy abuses to them.

    About CAT, thik thak chilo. Ami ei prothom baar dilam. Du bochor kaaj kore pagol hoye gechi tai. IIM theke call hobena, tobe SP Jain, MDI theke hobe bodh hoy ( oi, kamona kori aar ki).

    By the way, ami Dec er 3 aar 4 tarikh Bangalore aashchi school er reunion e.

    By Blogger Soham Pablo, at 12:02 AM  

  • @soham pablo: good to know about CAT. as for bangalore, seriously bad situation. i dont know when was the last time you visited, but some of the roads in that area are BADDDD right now. gimme a call when you are in blore if you have the time. wont put my mobile number on my blog, but can email you if you gimme ur id :-)

    By Blogger Ron, at 12:52 AM  

  • hmmm..if you think cunningham road is difficult, try narrroooowww nandidurga road, jekhane aami thaaki. christ. oh..drop down to my blog sometime

    By Blogger the still dancer, at 2:22 AM  

  • @kaashyapeya: hello and welcome. am quite familiar with your blog actually, just havent commented thats all :-)

    you live on nandi durg road? and u traverse aforementioned road everyday? and you are alive and kicking to tell the tale....wow!! you are indeed worthy of my awe respect and all the other things i mentioned :-)

    By Blogger Ron, at 3:48 AM  

  • I remember Nandi Durga road from my good old days in Bangalore, when I used to go there for Durga Pujas in Joymahal. Ooooohhh my God....that used be our favorite part of Bangalore! Just to be sure, I looked up my photo album to make sure. Trust me, what I remember of Nandi Durga road till about 1996 is an extremely serene place. During the Pujas, I have even played cricket on the road in the afternoons. Sobs :(

    Ron, my email id is soham dot pablo at gmail dot com. Surely would contact you in B'lore.

    By Blogger Soham Pablo, at 8:02 AM  

  • Ron, Need help crossing the road - but that's something everyone does. Different roads, different hands - and sustenance in the bargain.

    Your piece on Go Air - so can relate. We've let ourselves get trapped - and then read Po Bronson to find a way out.

    Bangalore that bad? What about the outskirts like Whitefield?

    By Blogger JustWriting, at 7:32 PM  

  • @soham : nandi durg road e onek gaadi...very difficult to cross etc. and i shall mail you.

    @justwriting: hello and welcome. bangalore is in terrible condition right now..but i don't know too much about the suburbs, don't go towards whitefield much, i assume roads are as bad there too. as for the go air post, yeah we have let ourselves be trapped i guess, and its up to us to de entrap ourselves too :-)

    By Blogger Ron, at 9:01 PM  

  • baa.. onek manush dekhchi. I feel lost. Kintu i had to say this. I crossed the busy MG Road (Pune) for the first time in months today with crutches, ridden by an indomitable desire to have a plate of bhel. And i saw disaster written in bold when i saw a woman on the steering wheel of an approaching opel. But she was polite enough to slow down seeing my physically challenged condition and i got immortalised momentarily :-)). I never used to get scared while crossing till now..i have kind of forgotten what crossing streets mean!

    By Anonymous Bijoyyy, at 2:18 AM  

  • That word gheti. Seems ages I have heard someone say it. I used to find it enormously funny when I was a kid and I see that the word still hasn't lost its charm:-)

    When I was in my first job, I used to cross the crowded road in Janpath like a stud. I would stroll down casually even when there were hordes of cars bearing down on me. Now thankfully I have more sense. And I too wait forever but cross only when it seems that I am not going to be run over.

    By Anonymous AB, at 2:46 AM  

  • @ bijoy: immortalised momentarily? didnt get that. and bhel..yumm. i want bhel..mumbai style. as for the sexist comemnts on women drivers...grrr!!
    don't worry dear, you shall be up and running around soon. *huggs*

    By Blogger Ron, at 2:47 AM  

  • @ab: eki how is it that i didnt see your comment just half a second ago? anyways, i totally envy people who have crossed roads at any point in their lives like a stud. seriously.

    @ everyone who leaves comments on my blog: am truly sorry for the horribly complicated word verifications (seriously my blog has to have the worst ever word verifications), im too lazy to delete comments..even spam.

    By Blogger Ron, at 2:51 AM  

  • That's the story of my life in... let's see... a little over five hundred words. I am totally convinced am going to meet death on a busy Bangalore road. When that happens all of you can feel sad and say 'poor girl, she seemed to have USP. She always said this would come to pass'.

    *am now overwhelmed at thought of own death and shedding quiet tears*

    By Blogger The Marauder's Map, at 4:05 AM  

  • @marauders map: may i join you in shedding quiet tears? i too am likely to be killed very soon on one of these roads. luck cannot last forever can it? :-(

    By Blogger Ron, at 4:58 AM  

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